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Lets face it, we all have ex’s that are batpoop crazy, for any number of reasons. Some of them are legitimately mentally unstable. Others are scorned, broken and vindictive. And many of them are simply sleeping in a bed harder than the one with you.

So, with it being the holiday season, it is only getting worse. Families are fragmented. People are lonely and cold. Bae might be a memory. Hell, those support payments may have dried up. Whatever the reason, you are the object of their intense loathing.

Here are five things I think it makes sense to avoid when your ex is stressing you during the holidays:

1. For whatever reason, your ex likes to lure you into drama. The reasons are oftentimes unknown. Perhaps they want you back and are secretly vying for your attention. Maybe they’re upset you moved on. Maybe, just maybe they find meaning in life when you give them some attention – any attention.

Don’t fall for it. Getting into arguments with a drama-challenged individual does nothing for you. Sure, you could blast them or cuss them out, but then they would have a “war story” to tell everybody on social media. On top of that, your day is ruined. Hell, if you are in Florida, they may be able to kill you based on the “Stand Your Ground” feeling of being threatened.

2. Whatever you do, DON’T BASH THEM IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS. The kids are smarter than you will ever know. They know your ex is crazy However, it is not up to you to tell them unless they are somehow endangering the child’s welfare. However, that person that’s attempting to drive you out of your mind is still your kid’s mother or father. The kids most likely love them despite their mania.

3. Do not assume anything is past them. Let me tell you, a scorned man or woman is capable of just about anything. They might call the police on something trivial or accuse you of domestic violence. They may show up to your house unannounced, probing for another lover. They may even steal the child’s house key to your home and just…go in. Yes, they are a pesky bunch. I can tell you from experience, they will lie to police, deceive family members and even believe their own lies. Even the children are not off limits.

4. Do not let them go on and on and on without checking them. Somebody has to say something some time or the little scorned ex is going to continue to do whatever they feel they can get away with. There are a number of ways to deal with it, but I do not recommend you give a sketchy dude a bag of money and an address. Write it all down, save messages and if you feel threatened, contact the proper authorities.

5. Here is something to do, rather than not. Pray for their safe return to sanity. Certainly, prayer works. However, it only works if we work. Or if they work. Either way, there are simply some things that are out of your control. Bring the kids into the prayers too, because they know more than you realize.

Happy Kwanzaa!

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