Yesterday, a woman’s engagement ring photo went viral—and it was not for her adorable periwinkle manicure or because thousands of complete strangers wanted to congratulate her on this new chapter in her life. It was because they found it necessary to poke fun at the size of her diamond.
The ring first gained attention when The Shade Room shared the photo on their social media pages and asked readers if they would still say yes if their dude popped the question with a ring that size. Within minutes, thousands of comments poured in. Some commenters expressed that the size of the ring really wouldn’t really impact their answer if they loved the man who purchased it. Others, many actually, boldly exclaimed that they would say no and some even suggested that they would send their hypothetical fiancés back to the jeweler and ask him to come back with something better.
While everyone is entitled to their opinions, there was something particularly mean-spirited about this entire situation. Mainly because the ring belongs to a real woman with real feelings who actually stumbled across the post and had to read all of the nasty comments that came along with it. That woman is Denise Mercedes, a New Jersey-based plus-size model and fashion blogger. According to Denise, the photo was reposted by The Shade Room’s moments after she shared it on her own Instagram page.
As it turns out, it’s actually a promise ring, and it was presented to her by her boyfriend, Deyder, who wants to marry her now but has vowed to wait until she’s done with school. It was a sweet gesture done in good taste, but unfortunately, the Internet had to turn it into something else. And when I saw so many media outlets and social media users trying to discredit Deyder’s gesture, I felt terrible. This couple was robbed of their special moment and felt like they had to defend their love to complete strangers, and that is not cool. There are so many things wrong with the way that this all went down, but here are just a few:
• A diamond’s quality has nothing to do with its size. When you become educated on the subject, you realize that there are three more Cs that hold significance when it comes to diamond’s value other than carat weight. The color, clarity, and cut of a diamond are extremely important in determining its worth. In other words, it’s possible to have a massive 5 carat diamond that is of extremely poor quality. It’s also possible to have a .18 carat diamond that maintains its value even after you leave the jeweler.
• In no way does the size of the diamond in an engagement ring measure the amount of love the giver has for the receiver. A big diamond doesn’t symbolize a lasting, loving or successful relationship. Perhaps the giver really wants to marry and a small diamond is all he could afford at the time. It’s even possible that the receiver prefers smaller rings, which turned out to be the case when it comes to Denise and Deyder.
• It’s just mean. Love is a beautiful thing, and that ring is symbolic of the love that this man has for this woman. It’s appalling that anyone would look at it as anything other than that.
• If you would turn down a marriage proposal because the diamond is not large enough, perhaps you’re not quite ready for marriage anyway.
After being tagged in the photo, which was also picked up by New York radio station Hot 97, Denise chose to address it on her blog, writing:
I can not believe how materialistic people are. People were saying awful things and were coming to my page literally making fun of the ring I WANTED. They made fun of my boyfriend for being cheap and for being an embarrassment. I had my boyfriend ask me “Well babe, did you like the ring? Because I can get you a bigger one.” When he asked me this, all I did was shed a tear because my boyfriend felt so belittled. For the past 3 years, my boyfriend has treated me like a queen
Again, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but carrying on like this is not okay.