Things You Do Single That You Regret In A Serious Relationship

November 23, 2015  |  
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I remember there were times when I was single and full of, er, curiosity that my more conservative friends would say, “Are you sure you want to do that?” And I, probably with a Jameson shot in my hand, said, “Why wouldn’t I?!” Now I know why: there are some things you do when you’re single that you regret when you’re in a serious relationship. Like these.

Joke tattoos: single

If you want to get a tattoo that means something to you, that’s one thing. But sometimes when you’re single, you get a little too drunk, and you get a weird tattoo in weird regions because you “think it’s funny.”

Joke tattoos: in a relationship

Just remember that one day, you’ll have a partner who sees the clown tattoo on your butt and thinks, “I have to look at that every day for the rest of my life.” It’s no joke to him.

Stripping: single

Stripping at a party, or even as a side gig, is invigorating and somehow empowering when you’re single. There is no boyfriend to make jealous. You don’t have to sleep with anyone. You just make a lot of money in a little time.

Stripping: in a relationship

One you’re in a relationship with a man who is evaluating you as the future mother of his children, somehow those days of stripping feel less empowering.

Lesbianism, “Just because”: single

Want to go on a bout of sexual escapades with women, even though you’re straight, just because you’re curious? Some women do. It’s a way to learn about your body.

Lesbianism, “Just because”: in a relationship

Just try explaining to your husband-to-be that, “No. I am not actually into women!” Try hugging a female friend without your boyfriend getting suspicious. Try going on a girls’ weekend without him checking in on you constantly.

A threeway: single

Being single is a time to sexually experiment, right! There are no rules for you, and you should take advantage of that, no?

A threeway: in a relationship

Look, it’s such a double standard, but the truth is this: plenty of guys want to have a threeway, but none of them want to marry a woman who’s had a bunch of threeways. Just saying.

Sleeping with a married man: single

When you’re single, you may think, “It’s not my marriage! I would never cheat if I were married.”

Sleeping with a married man: in a relationship

Try explaining that, though, to your fiance. If you had no respect for matrimony before, why should he believe you will now?

Semi-nude modeling: single

There are a lot of gigs out there for women who are simply willing to cup their bare breasts for a soap ad. At the time, $700 for two hours of work might seem worth it. It may pay your rent that month.

Semi-nude modeling: in a relationship

It won’t be worth it when your husband’s friends tease him every time they see that soap ad online. Or when your in-laws find out about it. He’ll want to kill the Internet.

Blogs about exes: single

If you need to write in a rage about an ex or just a guy you slept with, do it in your diary. You’ll be tempted to publish your man-hating musings on a feminist blog, but don’t.

Blogs about exes: in a relationship

One day, you won’t feel angry about that one guy anymore, but that blog will still be out there to terrify your partner.

Hooking up with friends: single

When you’re single, you may think, “What’s the harm in drunkenly hooking up with some of the guys in my friends group? They know it’s casual, and so do I.”

Hooking up with friends: in a relationship

The harm comes when you have a serious boyfriend who has to hang out with friends you’ve hooked up with.

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