Be Real, Do You Hate Baby Showers?

November 17, 2015  |  

Be honest, how do you feel about baby showers? Personally, I don’t have strong feelings about them one way or the other. However, I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that I sometimes feel a tiny bit annoyed when the day of the event arrives, and I have to leave my house. It never has anything to do with the mom-to-be, and I always end up having a great time. I’m simply a homebody at heart, and a small part of me dies inside when I have to spend half of my Saturday out and about instead of at home in my pajamas. Nevertheless, that’s what you do for people you love: you make sacrifices.

I recently came across an article by an XO Jane writer who held nothing back when describing her hatred of all things baby shower. Simply put, she won’t be attending any baby-welcoming celebrations because she despises everything about the experience from the way people wait on the mom-to-be, to the decorations, to the baby’s grandmother being present. Kid you not.

Brit McGinnis writes:

You’re Going To Be Way Too Huge To Be Fun.

The second you cross the 6-month mark (or 7 months, if you’re being extra careful), you’re pretty much safe from a miscarriage. Let’s party then, when you cross that crucial benchmark! You know, when you’re obviously pregnant but can still walk from person to person and don’t require people to wait on you.

Honestly, it’s not cute to expect us all to wait on you just because you’re enormous. You’re the hostess of this party, and/or someone in your family is hosting it. You’re all supposed to be taking care of me, if anything.

You Already Have All The Sh*t You Need.

Amazon exists. Hand-me-downs exist. You’ve likely been scoping out stuff for the nursery forever. So why don’t we all just hang out and talk about this new part of your life? There’s no point in expecting us to fill in the gaps of your life.

Do You Really Expect Us To Like These Decorations?

You had sex and got pregnant. We understand that. Mazel tov! Sex is great, and it occasionally leads to babies.

So why all the fluffy clouds and storks everywhere? Who is this for? We’re (presumably) all adults, so we don’t need ultra-specialized decorations to enjoy a party. We’re fine just being here with you. Don’t order that customized “It’s a (insert gender)!” confetti. No one’s going to look at it.

Oh, she’s not here for the belly worship either.

This Is Going To Bring Out The Worst In Your Pregnant Brain.

You’re emotional. You’re flooded with hormones. You’re worried about your body, your sex appeal and if you can even handle this thing coming out of you. Sweetie, I get that. I want to be here for you during this time in your life. I want to support you and tell you things are going to be okay. I want to fulfill the original intent of the baby shower.

But I’m not going to be able to be there for you like that in a crowd of people. Especially not if they’re all trying to guess how big your belly has gotten, or shoving presents in your face. We won’t be able to actually talk about baby stuff if you have to put on a fake smile the entire time.

McGinnis concludes her essay by reasoning that her negative presence will likely cause more harm than good, which is why she chooses to decline baby shower invites and catch up with the mom-to-be before or after the event. While I can’t say that I agree with her points, I definitely think she’s making the right decision to stay home. I mean, no one wants a Debbie Downer funking up the groove while everyone else is celebrating an event as joyous as the birth of a child.

Her brutal honesty, however, got me to wondering if there are others out there who hate showers as much as she does.

Noirettes, do you hate baby showers? Have you had negative experiences with guests when you had your shower? Do you pick and choose which showers you attend?

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