The Insanity That Ensues When He Won’t Text Back

November 9, 2015  |  
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Guys are the kings of, “Oh, I’ll just answer that text later.” Then they forget about it. Meanwhile, while they’re happily wrapping up a meeting/finishing a movie/taking a nap, the text sender is slowly deteriorating into insanity. Here’s a look at the madness that ensues when he won’t text back.



I’ll stay right by the phone

Clearly he’s very busy, so I should be available to respond the second he does, or else I’ll have to wait another four hours for a response!





Actually, I’ll leave

On second thought, I’m sure the second I leave my phone alone, he’ll text. I’ll just walk around the house. (Did he text me back yet? Oh, no…) Okay, I’ll just walk around the block. (How about now? Still no?) Okay, I’ll run an errand and leave my phone at home. (Seriously? Nothing?!)


Maybe my phone is broken

I’ll text my friends asking, “Are you getting this text?” to make sure my messages are actually going through. They are? Damn.







Maybe his phone is broken

I’ll just check Facebook to see if he posted a status about his phone being broken.







Has he even read it?

Well, it’s an iPhone, so it tells me that he has read it. He just hasn’t responded yet. So what’s the holdup?!








I’ll make my friend take my phone

I’m starting to lose it. I’m going to ask my friend to take my phone away from me and not allow me to check it. For now.





I’m getting that phone back…

Okay, I’m hatching a plan to get that phone back. Why won’t she give it back?!







Was my wording weird?

Maybe I should have included an emoji? Maybe it sounded insincere without a smiley face? Oh no. He thinks I’m an emotionless robot.





I’ll just send a follow-up

Something cute, and funny—I won’t even reference the unanswered text. I’ll just send something like, “Saw this meme and thought you’d like it!”





I can’t believe I did that!

Two texts in a row? Now I’ve blown it.







No, he has blown it

You know what? If he is so fragile and immature that getting two little texts from a woman who knows what she wants freaks him out, then forget him!







On second thought, I’m calling my service provider

“Hello? AT&T? I was wondering if you’ve been getting any reports that, like, some user’s texts haven’t been going through today? No? Oh. Okay…”




I’ll message a friend we have in common

“Hi, Josh! Have you heard from Cameron in a while? I haven’t heard back from him, and I’m starting to worry…”






He’s fine?

I see. So it’s just me he isn’t responding to? Very mature, buddy!







Oh! It’s him! He’s texting!

Thank goodness! He just wrote, “Sorry, forgot to respond earlier.” I totally forgive him. Happens all of the time. I’ll write back, “No big deal!” because it wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t pressed or anything like that…

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