Is This Petty? He’s Trying To Move His Struggling Ex And Their Child Into Our Home–But I’m Not Having It

October 23, 2015  |  

If someone you possibly once loved who was the co-parent of your child was struggling to get by, would you help them? In what ways? Would you give them money? Would you put them in touch with people who can help them out?

Would you move your child and that individual into the home you currently share with your spouse?

Things that make you go hmmm, right? While you’re probably on the fence about taking such actions, one man did offer the mother of his son a place to stay in his lovers nest. He hit up TheShaderoom to get advice on how to move forward after making such a decision. You know, because his wife isn’t speaking to him because of it and what not. Check out the drama-filled situation he’s found himself in:

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#RoommateDiaries: Would you be cool with it?

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You have to give this man some credit. I respect the fact that he didn’t want to make a bad/stressful situation worse by separating his son and the child’s mother. And if times are really hard and she doesn’t have family nearby, or she’s in a situation that would allow her very few options, then he’s really coming through for her. And who knows? His attraction and romantic feelings toward his ex could be long gone. The focus could truly just be on doing the right thing for his child and the mother of that child.

But as a card-holding member of The Petty Gang, I just wouldn’t be comfortable with such an arrangement either if I were this man’s wife. It depends on how dire the circumstances are. Bringing the child into a shared home to stay is one thing, and that’s fine. But my thoughts toward the ex would probably be, She doesn’t have friends she can stay with? No relatives anywhere? Nobody she could go to while we care for his son and in the meantime, she can get her situation straightened out and her life together? She could stay on the couch for the night after getting evicted, but if it were me, she would need to be up and out bright and early in the morning, looking for lodging and her own way to improve her situation.

I’m not made out of money by any means, but maybe helping her out financially (temporarily) is a better alternative. He could offer her some money to stay in a hotel until she can find accommodations. And while she does that, he can focus on providing a stable home for his son until moms gets back on her feet.

But in all honesty, it sucks that this man has found himself in this predicament because I do think that he means well. Still, it really isn’t his responsibility to take care of his ex and bail her out of situations, especially when he’s married with his own family to provide for. If the tables were turned and his wife wanted to bring another grown a– man she used to lay with into their home, I’m sure he would probably feel some kind of way about it, and rightfully so. And no, I don’t think this is a jealousy issue or one woman solely feeling threatened by another. Out of respect for your relationship, you shouldn’t even want to put your partner in the position where they have to walk around with your ex-lover in your shared home playing roommate. So, as previously recommended, he should take in his son and try to help the mother of his child out in other ways if he feels so inclined–ways that don’t involve her being a tenant (rent-free or not) in his home…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Is the wife petty for being upset with him for taking in the mother of his son? Or is he petty for even putting her smack dab in the middle of that situation? 

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