When people hear the words abstinence, celibacy, or virgin they have the tendency to cringe, or instantly become uncomfortable. I’m not sure why they do this acting as if they are a disease, or as if it’s something wrong with practicing one of the above. Maybe it’s because practicing celibacy, or being a virgin in the world of 21st century dating are not so common practices, people don’t talk about it as much as they should, or they don’t realize that there are so many benefits to not having sex. When I first started practicing celibacy I didn’t realize how hard it would be. In fact, before I learned more about it and it’s purpose I was one of the people who would frowned upon the thought of not having sex, but as years have passed I’ve grown to be comfortable at the thought of going without physical intimacy I’ve discovered that there are so many benefits to practicing celibacy; at least there have been for me personally.
The first benefit is that I don’t have to worry about the possibility of being pregnant. I already have the privilege of being a mother of one, and it is undoubtedly the greatest thing in the world, however I’m in no rush to have another one without the benefit of marriage.
The next benefit is being unconcerned about contracting unwanted sexually transmitted diseases. Need I say more?
When you have sex with someone there is so much more involved outside of satisfying physical needs and attractions. There is an unsung emotional connection between two people that is hard to break if the relationship doesn’t work out. However, if you don’t have sex with them emotional ties can be severed easier. Now don’t get me wrong, you can still have a deep connection with someone without seeing them, but let’s be honest it’s harder to walk away from someone if you’ve had great sex with them. Am I right?
Ladies have you ever wondered if a guy you’ve had sex with (in or out of a committed relationship) has been sleeping with other women? I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point, and it’s because we’re vulnerable because we’ve had sex with a man and we want him all to ourselves. I’ve found it to be true that if you didn’t sleep with him, you won’t feel as vulnerable because you didn’t open yourself to him and you can move forward with a clear mind.
Becoming closer to God has been one of the best benefits of practicing celibacy. Before I started this journey my personal relationship with God was good, but with every relationship there is always room for growth. In order to successfully continue my walk on this path I needed intimate spiritual guidance from a higher power to help me sustain. And as a result of it, I’ve discovered my purpose as an unmarried woman, and I couldn’t be happier.
Now that I’m going without sex, I can actually focus on getting to know a man better. Before this change my initial focuses on a man and a relationship were geared towards physical and material satisfaction. But now I know how to get to know a man for who he is, and I can make clear decisions about whether or not I should pursue a relationship with him or not.
Some other perks of my commitment are I know up front if a man is interested in all of me or just having sex with me, not worrying about unconscious or unknowingly developing a reputation of a woman who sleeps around, it will help my future partner and I develop a sincere bond, and it will allow us to be creative with our dates from beginning to end.
I’d never thought I would see the day where I would willing stop having sex, and learn some of the most important lessons ever learned in my life. I’ve become a stronger woman of God, more confident in who I am, and a wiser dater. Turns out that one of the hardest decisions I’ve made seems like one of the best…but then again they usually are.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? a motivational speaker, and an advocate for single women who encourages women to live their lives Gods way. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin and ask her anything you want to know about Her journey through celibacy.