Serious Question: Would You Participate In A Decoupling Ceremony With Your Ex?

October 13, 2015  |  

Breaking up is hard to do, but would formal ceremonies that offer closure make doing so a little easier? Reverend Gillian Harris of California sure thinks so.

The ordained minister, who holds a master’s degree in spiritual psychology, believes that decoupling ceremonies are a constructive way for people going through divorce to sort through feelings and the trauma that is frequently associated with ending a marriage.

“The decoupling ceremony enables people to shed feelings of victimization, to recognize shared history and to acknowledge and accept the journey into the future with no baggage,” said Rev. Harris.

The ceremonies facilitated by Harris and her team of ministers are designed with the  future ex couple in mind. The process usually begins with a consultation that allows the couple to share what led them to divorce in the first place. The actual ceremony is private and only lasts about twenty minutes. Couples are required to “declare their mutual forgiveness and release.” Candles may be used along with crystals for purification and rose quartz for heart chakra energy. Rings may be removed, and children from the marriage are also welcome to witness the service.

“I feel like our love is deeper and more fully expressed now than it ever was before. I’m newly single and going into it blissfully!” declared one of Harris’ clients a few days after her own decoupling ceremony.

The fees for ceremonies facilitated by Harris begin at $250, and while both partners are encouraged to partake in the function, it is not required.

“Often, the emotional toll of divorce weighs heavier on one party, and we accommodate them,” says Harris. “The decoupling ceremony benefits everyone who places equal significance on ending a marriage as they did when they entered it.”

While I was initially skeptical, I have to say that I wouldn’t be completely opposed to a decoupling ceremony. Considering that so many marriages end with one party grasping for closure, it seems that spiritually acknowledging the end of such a major chapter in one’s life would be helpful.

What about you? Would you be open to participating in a decoupling ceremony with your ex?

To learn more about Rev. Harris and the process of decoupling, visit

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