Weird Pre-Date Habits That Actually Work

October 20, 2015  |  
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First dates are the worst and everybody knows it. If you’re “good” at first dates, then you’re probably some superhuman. But for the rest of us, we have to try to fight through layers of anxiety, fear, self-consciousness and a hint of despair just to try and be ourselves on a first date. Just like you need ways to relax before public speaking, you need ways to relax before a first date. Here are some interesting pre-date habits that actually work.

The habit: Look up your exes

Before a first date, take a quick walk down memory lane. Look at the social media pages of your exes. Steer clear of any you’re still hurt over, but be sure to evaluate exes from way back.

Why it works

You probably go on a date wondering, “Am I going to get screwed over again? Am I going to fail to notice what a total jerk he is?” But if you can clearly identify why things didn’t work out with ex A, B, and C, you’ve learned a lot about people, like how to read them, what you need from them and red flags.

The habit: masturbate

That’s right: close the blinds (or leave them open, if that’s your thing), get out your favorite toy, put on your favorite adult film and give yourself an orgasm before your date.

Why it works

Honestly, you might be in serious need of some sex. You might need it so badly that it clouds your judgment. You go into the date so worried about what the guy thinks of you because you need this to work out. But if you have an orgasm beforehand, you’ll be very clearheaded. You won’t feel desperate. You’ll feel relaxed and able to ask yourself, “Is this guy right for me?”

The habit: Show up to the date early

Turn Up to the bar or restaurant you’ll be meeting him at a half hour before your date. Sit at the bar, chit chat with the staff, meet the other bar patrons and be social.

Why it works

A lot of the anxiety around first dates comes from fear. “How am I going to be charming with a total stranger?” So practice! Warm up your social skills with strangers at the bar. When your date gets there, it’s as if you’ve stretched before the marathon, and he hasn’t. Not that it’s a competition…

The habit: Check your dating profiles

Just before your date arrives, look at your online dating accounts. Send a couple of winks or likes to guys you think are cute. Maybe send out a message or two—or read some that have come in.

Why it works

Right before a first date, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of thinking, “I have no other prospects. If this date doesn’t go well, I don’t know what I’ll do.” Or the “This is Mr. Right, I can feel it!” trap. Remind yourself you have prospects. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket! You don’t show up on a first date, forgetting about all the cuties waiting to meet you online. This trick boosts your confidence.

The habit: Get worked up

Is there a news program that always gets you worked up? A blog that makes you want to have a debate with your peers? Take a look at it.

Why it works

No matter how confident and outspoken you are, you probably—like everybody—end up being agreeable on first dates. You just want a pleasant experience, so you agree with things he says that you really don’t agree with. You say nothing when something annoys you. But you can’t show someone who you really are like that. So go ahead, ignite the debater within you right before your date. It will make for an engaging one.

The habit: Treat yourself

How do you treat yourself? Whether it’s with a massage, frozen yogurt, a yoga class or a facial, do whatever makes you happy right before your date.





Why it works

Think about how you feel right after you’ve treated yourself: a little entitled, right? That’s a good thing! If you’re like most people, you probably let a lot of stuff slide on a first date, like your date taking a call during dinner or checking out another woman. You forget what you deserve. Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated right and made to feel good right before your date so you won’t stand for any BS once it begins.

The habit: Go for a quick, intense workout

Go for a brisk jog or do Bikram yoga—whatever gets your heart rate up—right before your date. Get those endorphins pumping.

Why it works

You feel happy when you work out. When you’re still on your runner’s high, you’ll feel it when your date makes you happy or even if he kills your buzz. If you arrive at your date feeling down, it can be harder to tell if that’s your date’s fault or your own mood swings.

The habit: Call your best friend

This isn’t such a strange habit. You call her all of the time. But you want to do it leading right up to the date. Call your best friend just to shoot the sh-t.

Why it works

There’s nobody in the world you feel more comfortable talking to than your best friend. It’s good to go into your date with a fresh reminder of what it feels like to be comfortable talking to someone. This will help you determine pretty quickly if you’re comfortable with your date.

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