First Date Tactics That Will Get You Some (Eventually)

September 28, 2015  |  
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I’m not saying you should be trying to get a woman home with you on a first date, but gentlemen, if you ever plan on making it from first to third and an eventual home run, you’re going to need to make a great first impression. That means doing at least one (or several) of these eight things.


You’re tactful about touching

There has to be some touching or she won’t know if you’re even interested in her. But be tactful about it. Take her hand to lead her through a crowd; don’t hold her waist and guide her from behind. Touch her middle back if you pass behind her—not her lower back. Sit across from her; not eagerly next to her. Kiss her on the cheek goodnight.

What it says to her

Touching her a little shows her what it feels like to be touched by you. That’s a good thing. It will get her imagination wondering what it feels like to be touched by you in other places. Keeping it clean shows her you are respectful of her space and in no way feel entitled to something physical. That combination is a huge turn on.

She mentions something she’d like…

She casually says, “Ooh! They have cheesecake. I have a weakness for cheesecake.” When she goes to the bathroom, you order a cheesecake. When it shows up later, you just smile. She mentions she loves the sunset. On the cab ride home, you ask the driver to take a secret route to the best view of the sunset. You don’t tell her where you’re going until you get there.

What it says to her

It tells her that you listen, and you remember. You make a note of little things she likes, and you plan ways for her to have those. It also shows her that when she doesn’t feel confident enough to ask for something, you’ll be smart enough to give it to her. That’s hot.


You ask to see her writing/artwork/passion

She tells you that she likes to draw or sculpt or play the piano. You ask lots of follow-up questions. Who is her favorite composer to play? Where does she play? When can you hear her? You make a concrete plan to see her passion in action. You’re writing down times and locations.

What it says to her

You want to know who she is, and you’re not flaky. Do you know how rare it is to meet a guy who says, “I’d like to do this with you sometime” and then actually sets a time, right there? Most guys just say it, and it never happens. You’re showing her you’re solid, and you mean what you say. You’re showing her you would commit real time to getting to know her.

You tease yourself

If you don’t know how to tease yourself well…you might have some personal work to do before you should even be dating! And if you do know how to make a joke at your expense, don’t hold back on doing so. It only makes you look good.



What it says to her

It shows you’re you’re completely comfortable with yourself, and you’d be willing to look “bad” if it meant putting a smile on her face. You were willing to embarrass yourself to make her happy. Selfless and you have a sense of humor? Check, please!

You left your phone behind

I mean completely behind. It’s at your house. It’s not in your car. It’s not under the table. You did not bring your phone to this date.





What it says to her

It says you know how to be present. It says you make a point to focus when something (or someone) is important to you. It shows you’re secure enough in yourself to not always have to know what your friends are up to on social media. It shows that you’re old school in an attractive way.

You don’t pressure her

You may not think you ever put pressure on women, but sometimes it’s not so obvious. To really not put pressure on a woman, you have to be very careful. You can’t tell her something she just did was sexy. You can’t raise your eyebrows seductively when she tells you she does yoga. You need to keep eye contact and respond to everything with genuine care, and no agenda.

What it says to her

You want her to be comfortable and do what’s best for her. So many guys try to sell themselves on dates. They don’t ask themselves, “Well am I even right for this woman?” They just want to “win” the date by making her like them. If you don’t pressure a woman, this tells her you just want what’s best for her, and you trust her to make that call.

You help someone

Your server spills a tray of drinks; you help her pick everything up. You buy something to eat for a homeless person. You bring a bowl of water to a dog tied up outside.



What it says to her

Oh please: you know we’re suckers for nurturers. If you can get away with doing one of these things when you don’t think she’s looking, but she is, double points: she’ll know you weren’t doing it for the attention.



You ask her a lot of questions

Not just surface questions. Don’t just ask if she has siblings. Ask if they’re close. Ask how they are different from her, or similar to her. Ask her about her favorite trips. Why did she like them? What did she learn? Would she ever want to live there? As for her hobbies, would she ever consider making them into her career?

What it says to her

So often, guys just go through questions on a first date like a check list—like they’re doing their job. When you go beyond the surface questions, we feel like you see this going somewhere.

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