8 Wrong Ideas Men Have About “Wife Material”

September 17, 2015  |  
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I’ve posted about how I don’t like the term “husband material” and to be fair, I don’t like the term “wife material” either. When it comes to marriage, I think there is simply the right individual—with all of his or her quirks and character traits—for every person. One person’s “wife material” might be another person’s, well, not. Here are 8 wrong ideas men have about “wife material.”

She listens and doesn’t judge

Some men just want a wife who will patiently pat their head, and listen to them complain about what went wrong at work, no judgment. And then, she’ll just say something to make them feel better.

A little judgment can be a good thing

How about a wife who tells you, “It sounds like you screwed up and should probably apologize to your boss?” Your wife should be able to let you know when you’ve done wrong! She’s helping you, in the long run.

She’s conventionally nurturing

She will make soup when you’re sick, she’ll speak to you in a soft voice when you’re upset, and she is, in general, soft when you need nurturing.

Nurture comes in different shapes

You can’t decide what “nurturing” means. To some, it means making soup, sure. But to some it means drinking whiskey with you. So long as your wife cares about making you feel better, you can’t decide how she goes about that.

She hasn’t been with many guys

I’ve heard men talk about a woman they’re dating, saying she’s been with a lot of other guys, so she’s not “wife material”—she’s “just for fun right now.”

Pot meet kettle

Unless you have an equally clean past, you need to let this one go.

She should have her own career

Plenty of pro-feminist men insist their wives must have their own careers—they could never be with a woman who “just wants to be a wife.”

“Just a wife” huh? I don’t know about that

How about everybody can do whatever they’d like? There are women who genuinely enjoy being homemakers. To them, it’s the greatest pleasure. They’re not homemakers from a place of weakness, but of strength. And they’re good wives.

She shouldn’t have her own career

Then of course you have the opposite opinion—that a “good wife” should be “just a wife” and shouldn’t have her own career. Maybe she can bring in some income, but she shouldn’t have a full-blown, time-consuming, career-of-passion.


Career or no career should not even be a consideration when talking about wife material. When you’re talking about a wife, you’re talking about how a woman is as a partner. Leave her career out of it and let her do what she wants with that. Maybe get back in your time machine and go back to the 1930s.

She should want kids

A lot of people are of the opinion: “What’s the point of getting married if you don’t want to start a family?”




Aren’t we talking about wives here? Not mothers?

There are plenty of reasons someone can want to get married, even if they don’t want to have children. There are literally so many that there isn’t room on the Internet to cover them all. But go look it up—you’ll have reading material for hours.

She should stop partying

Some say it’s “inappropriate” for a married woman to still be dancing on bars, or to still be out at bars in general.




If she parties, you can too

Um…hello?! If your wife is still down to party, that means you can too! Your wife should be your favorite party-buddy, honestly. That’s a good wife.


She gets along with other wives

Some men are dead set on having a wife who can get along with other wives—they want a wife they can bring to office parties who will make small chit chat and pretend to care what the other wives are talking about.

Let her choose her friends

We are the company we choose. If you love a woman, you owe her friends a thank you. Those are the people she exchanges ideas with. Those are the people who encourage her to keep being the woman you know and love. Don’t force her to be friends with anyone else.

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