9 Signs You’re A Professional Victim

September 10, 2015  |  
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There are people who have been dealt some really rough cards in life.

And then there are people who just like to act like the world is against them. According to the Huffington Post, we all have a victim archetype that can help us improve our self-esteem, have more courage and a lot more endurance. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ring a bell? But what doesn’t kill you can also make you weaker if you don’t get yourself in check. Habitual victims blame others for everything, self-sabotage, and will try to tear people down only to turn around and say that they, are in fact, the ones who’ve been wronged. Could you be a professional victim? Let’s hope not. But in case you’re slippin’ and slidin’ on a fine line, here are a few signs to help you get your act together.

You make yourself an outsider

You develop a “Me against the world” mentality. A disagreement with one friend, employee or family member makes you think that every friend in your circle, colleague at your job, and family member is trying to sabotage you. You become paranoid and aggressive when dealing with them.

Many things upset you, but you never tell the people who you claim did you wrong

While you may not be overreacting about the disrespect you’ve dealt with at the hands of others, you have a habit of telling everyone your feelings but the people who supposedly hurt you. How are they supposed to know how you feel? As you hold it in, you get angrier and more vindictive. You cut off a person who doesn’t know what they did to upset you and think they won’t apologize even though you didn’t give them a chance to.

Years later, you’re still dwelling on old sh*t

And despite not being forward with the people who you claim you were hurt by, you continue to hold on to your anger and pain toward them. They move on and you’re still filled with rage over the past, seeking retribution–and attention.

You look at your life as a series of unfortunate events

You act as though you have the worst luck, and that many of the things that have happened to you have nothing to really do with you. Your misfortunes, in your mind, are based on other people and things (outside forces) trying to bring you down–not the decisions you made or the way you do or think about things.

You blame other people for things that have nothing to do with them…

You blame others for the drama you have, for the lack of opportunities, for whatever struggle you’re dealing with in your life. In your mind, it’s not you, it’s everyone else.

…Yet you always need something from other people

Whether it’s food, a place to stay, a professional connection–whatever. You’re consistently looking for a comeup, sometimes from the people who you at one point gave the cold shoulder to.

You call people to complain

Whether it’s about a person you’ve fallen out with, your ex, the people at your job, every time you talk to someone about what’s going on in your life, your stories are complaints about other people and things. You act as though everything is out of your hands, the world has done you wrong time and time again, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

You lie a lot

You say whatever you can to make yourself look like the one who has been wronged. You have a different story for different people, but in each tale, you always come out on top–or on the bottom rather–as the victim. The betrayed one. The one who has been bullied and mistreated.

You’re always comparing your life to that of others

You look at the lives and success of others and think, How did he get that job? How did she get that ring? Why didn’t things work out for me but they worked out for them? When things don’t pan out the way that you plan, you become resentful when other people are having more opportunities open up. That can breed contempt and enable your victim-based way of thinking.

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