What Happens When A Man Proposes On The Shade Room?

September 10, 2015  |  

When most of us think about our proposals, we envision a man in our face, on bended knee. But we’re living in the digital age and it seems that almost everything is done so it can be seen by others. We love The Shade Room over here and this morning we were surprised to see the man who tried to propose…or rekindle his relationship with his lady love through the gossip site’s Instagram page.

Don’t believe me? Just watch.

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#TSRProposals : So one of our #roommates reached out to us, hoping that we could aid him in helping his girl see that not only does he want her back, but he wants to make her his wife. His girl is a daily reader of TSR and he wanted to surprise her with this post. You know we LOVE, LOVE. So here is his story: _______________________________________I met my best friend 3yrs ago.. She was working at a hospital in Memphis TN as a nurse. Shortly after meeting her she started changed her career to become a traveling nurse.. and wanted me to be as supportive of her career as she was of mine. So I agreed to it. After a month or so I started to get Lonely. So I started flying out to Boise Idaho where she was working at least once every 2 months. Through it all I never cheated not once. Then once her Boise assignment was over she wanted to try Cali so I flew out and we drove to Cali.. She loves it in Cali and has been there almost a year.. For me to explain why I'm asking for her back I gotta explain how I lost her: Communication with long distance. So I moved to Cali with her for about 6months from the beginning of the year to now. Things were really going good until I couldn't find steady work and take care of her the way she deserved. So now I'm in a position where I'm getting stable and don't wanna lose the 1 that has my heart.. She's the world to me and I don't wanna lose her. I know true love only comes once and I refuse to let it slip away from me that easily! I'm just willing to fight for the one I love! The woman I met 3and a half yrs ago and still today is worth it! I just want to make her my wife!" #TSRBreakUps

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It seems sweet enough. Sadly, this story doesn’t have a happy ending. If Bud had done this in the privacy of his own home, or at least off of Instagram no one would have known about it. Sadly, it’s all on the internets.

And so was her rejection.


Naturally, since their business is all aired out, people in the comment section are discussing the “proposal” and whether or not she should give this brother another chance. They referenced Michelle taking a chance on Barack when he was her intern, riding around with a hole in his car. They said that sometimes you have to build with a man.

There’s nothing wrong with building with a man but the operative word in that sentence is “with.” From the story, it’s clear that career is important to this woman. She was willing to travel all over in order to pursue her dreams. And while it’s lovely that Bud was willing to follow and support her, he didn’t have the financial stability to go along with it. And not only that, she waited three years for him to get it together. And he has yet to do so. If that’s not showing a desire to build with a man, I don’t know what is. Three years is a long time to be unstable. People love to reference Barack and Michelle when Barack had already graduated from an Ivy League university and was on his way to the top with the internship. He was already walking in his potential. So she had plenty of signs to know that he could be something great.

Furthermore, I never hear this talk of men building with women. Ladies, have you noticed that if a man doesn’t like something, that’s it? Men generally don’t compromise on their relationships preferences. But women are always expected to bend, even when we know we won’t be happy doing so. Time out for that.

Bottom line is, you have to know your partner. If financial stability is important to her, as it is with many people, then why are you offering a marriage proposal when you haven’t met her requirements?

From her words and even that last hashtag it seems that she’s still holding out hope for their relationship. I am too. They would have an amazing story to tell if it did work out. But if Joe Budden and Tahiry taught us anything, it’s that a marriage proposal is not enough when you haven’t addressed the core issues in your relationship.

What do you think about this woman and Bud? Should she give their relationship a chance or does Bud need to show and prove?

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