That Moment You Realize You Never Want To Get Married

September 9, 2015  |  

Since childhood, I’ve known that I wanted to be a wife and mom someday. But for many women, marriage has never been the goal. While some come to this realization early on, there are others who don’t recognize their lack of desire to wed for quite a while.

Famed television producer Shonda Rhimes didn’t come to the realization that she preferred a lifestyle that didn’t include wedding bells and vows to love honor and obey until she was well into adulthood. According to the 45-year-old mother of three, she was composing a storyline for “Grey’s Anatomy” character, Cristina Yang, when she experienced the epiphany.

“I was seriously dating somebody, and I was like, I don’t want to do this,” Rhimes told Entertainment Weekly. “I guess I had been secretly feeling that way and writing it for Cristina.”

Rhimes went on to say that because so many women are groomed to believe that marriage is a goal they should strive towards, she began to question herself for feeling that way.

“We’re all so conditioned to want it; I felt like there must be something wrong with me.”

Thankfully, she didn’t allow those absurd thoughts to take residence in her mind.

“The minute I said it out loud to my family, it was fantastic,” she recalled. “Now if somebody says, ‘Are you looking for that?’ I say, ‘Nope, looking for a boyfriend, not a husband.’ And there’s a freedom to that. There’s no pressure if you’re not looking for it.”

The award-winning television executive is expected to address the decision and other personal experiences in her forthcoming memoir, The Year of Yes.

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