Signs You’re Too Comfortable With Your Man
When you live with your boyfriend, or have been together for a very long time, it can be hard not to tell him every single thing on your mind. But are you killing a bit of the excitement by sharing it all? Here are 15 signs you’ve gotten a little too comfortable with your man.
You tell him what’s shaved (and what isn’t)
When you’re hooking up, you say to him, “Everything below the knee is shaved. Everything above it…I wouldn’t go there.”
You shave your va-jay-jay in front of him
You shower together, but you really shower together. You put your leg up on the tub and shave your vagina in front of him. You apply your acne body wash in front of him. On second thought, you ask him to apply it to your zits for you.
You wear period panties on date night
The tattered, stained things you used to reserve for nights you definitely weren’t going to see your man? Yeah—you wear those on a hot date night now.
You assign work in sex
“We can bang, but you need to do all the work tonight. I’m horny but exhausted.”
You list lube on the grocery list
You’ve given up on purchasing it sneakily on Amazon prime. You ask your boyfriend to pick some up, along with toilet paper and floss.
You choose between dairy and sex
“Should we eat pizza or should we have sex tonight? Because you know we can’t do both.”
You schedule sex
“Hey! We need to leave this concert before everyone else does. Otherwise the parking lot will be a zoo, and by the time we get home we will be too tired for sex.”
You talk about scheduled sex in public
Oh yeah, that thing you said in the last point—you say that in front of your friends. Loudly.
You fart, and say nothing
He heard it. You heard it. It’s just not worth missing the dialogue in this episode of Bloodline to make a comment about it.
You tell him about your poop
“What does it mean if my poop is green? Have you ever had that happen to you, babe? Can I just send you a pic?”
You kiss him while he’s peeing
He is literally holding his penis, which is shooting out urine, and you’re kissing him.
You ask him to wash his balls
When you’re making out and things start heating up, you say to him, “Will you wash your balls? I’m not doing that thing to your balls that you like unless you go wash them right now.”
You text, “Call you right back I’m masturbating”
You’re not trying to be sexy. You’re not going to make him a video of it. You’re just letting him know as a matter of fact that you’re busy.
You say, “You can finish…I’ll finish myself off”
When sex has been taking a while, you just tell him he can go ahead and finish—you’ve got a vibrator and can handle the rest.