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This question has been circulating widely around social media and I am curious to know what folks thing about it. Be warned: baby daddy drama ahead.

Here is the question:


I am not a parent, but I do have an opinion.

Let me also say that while I am not a parent, I am also a product of a single parent, woman-led household too. So I think I have some insight here.

The obvious answer is no, the anonymous questioner is not responsible. He is only personally responsible for the child he created. However there is personal responsibility and then there are the responsibilities we have for the greater good. In this instance, the responsibility of maintaining a positive environment for children to become caring and well-rounded adults.

With that premise in mind, there are quite a few things really bothersome about buying 18 pairs of sneakers and 40 outfits for one child during one school year – or should I say half a school year. Children grow. And they grow fast. And there is a really strong possibility that what that child could fit in the first half of the school term will become obsolete before you can say, Easter Break. Not to mention the changing of seasons. So you brought your kid 40 Gucci sweaters in September, but what is he or she suppose to wear when it is 75 degrees in April? It’s like folks don’t think about those things…

But besides the impracticality of it all, there is also the rampant materialism, which makes me cringe. I mean what kind of school is this kid going to that he needs that many pair of shoes?

Don’t get me wrong: I understand folks want to reward their children for getting good grades (sometimes hard work does pay off). And I can also understand that there are some folks who can afford to give to their children in abundance. But I also feel like there are better quality, and more practical, rewards we can be giving children. I mean what about 20 outfits, 10 pairs of shoes and a laptop computer? Or a cool vacation somewhere out of the country, where he or she can be exposed to something new while also having fun? What does it always have to be stuff?

Not to mention the sheer pettiness of the question itself. And it is petty. He is petty for calling the kids her mistake. He is petty for writing in caps, “MY OWN HARD EARNED MONEY…” Like whose money isn’t hard earned? And he is being petty for shaming both the mother of his child and the fathers of her other children for not being as affluent as he is.

Without knowing the background of the poster, it really does sound like he is passive aggressively looking to create division and strife in a household. And perhaps that is what the mother of his child was trying to tell him? She wasn’t telling him not to reward his child, but rather stop showing off.

Speaking as that product of a single parent household with a sibling who “half-belonged” to another, I can tell you I felt very uncomfortable watching my brother get upset over the things my dad brought me, which his absentee dad could not. With that said I was a bit of a brat, particularly in fights. And while I felt bad for my brother’s circumstances, I also took great pleasure in rubbing it in his face that I had something more than he did.

Now you can blame that on the bratty child for being a brat; but as a parent, I just don’t understand why you would want to contribute to that sort of sibling rivalry in a household?

Folks talk all the time about how it takes a village to raise a child. And yet when it comes to actually being that village, we suddenly turn into staunch Republicans, talking all of that, “every bootstrap for himself” mess.

He said so himself, he is in a good financial position in life. So why not kick in an outfit or pair of sneakers, or two, for the cause?

But that’s what I think: what do other folks feel about this question?

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