Wearing Granny Panties And Other Hilarious Habits Women Have That We Love
If you’re a woman, then you’ve done some, if not all, of these things and thought to yourself, “Hehehe…nobody has to know.” Here are some hilarious habits we have that we don’t really talk about.
More tops, less bra
Why go through the hassle of looping the straps over your arms and hooking the back of a bra, when you can just pile on tank tops until your nipples are suppressed? Magic.
Wearing last night’s makeup
Sometimes last night’s mascara looks like we slept in a puddle. Sometimes, however, it takes on that all elusive smoky eye look on its own. Who would mess with that?
Texting from the toilet
Admit it. You do most of your texting from the toilet. A funny message from your best friend always helps, um, move things along.
Weighing in after emptying out
Speaking of moving things along, if you’re at a place in your life where you’re weighing yourself, you do it after you empty your bowels. Duh! That’s your real weight after all…Or something.
Paper towel or pad?
Pads are expensive! We don’t waste one when there’s just a tiny bit of blood. That’s what paper towels are for. The pad can weight until the real flow begins.
Keeping tattered panties
Tattered panties? Or perfect panties to wear on your period? Hard to tell the difference.
Just shaving where it counts
He never drags his hand above the knee. There is enough work to do between shaving the calves and the va-jay-jay. The thigh can just become a forest.
Eating four course meals in bed
I’m saying a side salad, a bread bowl, a plate of pasta and a cupcake with a glass of wine, all crammed on a folding table on your bed. At some point you knew this meal was meant for a real table but just said, “Screw it. I’ve come this far.”
Long sleeves instead of smooth pits
Sometimes you just. Don’t. Want. To. Shave. Like anything. And the armpits are so easy to simply cover up with sleeves. I’ve gone 8 days without a shave over there. You?
This always gives a woman a little power boost. It’s something naughty and nobody knows we’re doing it. It’s also good for our vaginas. My doctor would agree. What?
Texting every outfit
Sure I go shopping “alone.” I text my sister a photo of every single item I try on and hold up people waiting for the changing room. But, I’m alone.
Granny panties under loose skirts
Let’s admit it: granny panties are SO comfy. I’m talking about full-butt, high-waist, a little bit saggy granny panties. If I’m wearing a poofy skirt, you know I’m wearing my grannies.
If I’m in a fancy gym or hotel lobby bathroom that offers free tampons, I’m grabbing 8. Minimum. Hey, I paid $14 for my martini they owe me this!
See above. Samesies.
More water=more makeup
Not enough of your favorite liquid concealer in the little bottle? Not enough mascara in the tube? Don’t feel like shelling out another $20 just yet? No problem. Just add water, shake it up. Done.