As a parent, there are constant roads you must navigate — sometimes without a GPS. Just when you think you have a handle on things, here comes something new and lovely, that also happens to make you nervous.
This is how I felt last year when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Becoming a mother for the first time in early 2014 (yup, your math is right), my husband and I knew we wanted our kids to be close in age. We just had no idea they would come this close (they’re 17 months apart). The feelings of Oh my gosh, I’m pregnant! turned into, Oh my gosh, I’m pregnant?
Reading Ayesha Curry’s beautiful piece on The Bump really resonated with me. The wife of NBA champ and “Golden Boy” Stephen Curry, the two have are proud parents of Riley, 3, and welcomed daughter Ryan almost two months ago.
Like her, I found myself asking those common questions mothers have before child number two comes along. Can I love just as much as I do my first? Will I have the same excitement once I see that precious face for the first time?
I’ll admit, there were nights I stayed in thinking about this that made me more nervous than I needed to be. As silly as that might sound, it took having my child to realize that I was not only capable of becoming a mother for the second time (and dealing with those late night feedings), but had all the room in my heart I needed for my second son.
Ayesha’s words perfectly capture how I felt:
” After nine months of worrying, Ryan was born and I didn’t find the space in my heart to love her…my heart grew! I didn’t have to try, worry or search for this mysterious love I was going to give her—it just happened. God created a special place in my heart that is just for her, as he did for Riley and as he did when I fell in love with my husband.”
Once I got over the shock of delivering without medical assistance again (my second son was a little bigger than his brother), everything clicked when they put his semi-gooey body on my chest. Clinging to me for a sense of security, my heart overflowed with pure joy.
Currently having a two-month-old and 19-month-old is now walk in the park — especially when you work from home, but has been one of the best experiences of my life. Being a second-time mom makes me realize how much love I can have if I just allow myself to stop worrying for a minute and take in each moment.
main image via instagram