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People often come into relationships with the notion that there are specific jobs and duties to be assigned. A common relationship tradition is the woman is the homemaker and raises the kids while the man works and provides. This is a long standing model that people have been trying to replicate for years. If you ask me, that mess is outdated!

With times constantly changing, can modern traditions survive in the midst of today’s relationships?

Tradition is one of the components that help build the foundation of many marriages and relationships. People have been building their relationships on certain values and traditions for years. We are in a time where both people in relationships are working. There are same sex relationships/marriages as well which challenge that traditional model. There are situations that allows one parent to stay home and take care of the kids while the other one works.

To be in a marriage/relationship, have children, and expect the woman to still clean the house, take care of kids, and work eight hours a day is ridiculous. There are some men that think doing dishes, cooking, cleaning, and laundry are things that only women should do whether she works or not. Imagine having to work all day to come home to cook, clean, do homework, and get ready to do it all again the next day…Seriously? No thanks.

Many of these traditions and core values were started many years ago, when times were very different. Things like sex on a first date, who pays for the date, and who should ask who to marry are amongst a lot of the things that are being done differently nowadays. People are getting married after having sex on the first date and women are proposing to men! Women are working while men stay home and same sex marriage is legal. Creating your own rules and traditions within a marriage or relationship is important. Trying to follow existing traditions in today’s times are difficult to do. It is important to keep that in mind when building relationships in modern times.

Nowadays people are looking to share the duties in a relationship, changing that traditional model. A lot of people want to be in a situation where both people are hustlin’, sharing the chores, taking care of the kids, and creating a working family unit, together. Responsibilities shouldn’t be left for one person to complete, while the other sits around chillaxin’ all day. There are some men who literally won’t push strollers, take their kids out, or do some of the things that are considered “womanly duties”. On the flip side there are some women who have no intention on working and will stay home and keep house and take care of the children. This is fine if both parties agree.

Social media challenges some of these relationship models, causing interesting online discussions. One of the most recent is the ‘whose plate gets fixed first’ argument. Traditionally, the man of the house gets his plate fixed and served first so that he can eat first. I remember my grandmother always fixing my grandfather’s plate first. We had to wait for him to start eating before we could eat. WOMP! In today’s times, the family sits at the table to eat and everyone serves themselves. The man cooks dinner and even serves his family. Depending on the family member’s schedules, not everyone is at the table at the same time.

Times are changing and so are the way relationships play out. It is important to discuss expectations with a potential partner before things get serious. If you end up going into a relationship expecting a partner but end up with a Fred Flintstone/June Cleaver/Peg Bundy liability, that could lead to headache and heartache. Choose wisely! ​

Are traditional women’s duties played out?

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