I Don’t Mind If White Women Come To Me With Natural Hair Questions

November 17, 2015  |  

It’s one thing if you want to try and touch my hair like I’m some zoo animal (that’s a good way for me to wind up in prison and you in the hospital), but I don’t mind questions about black hair care — especially from white folks who adopt children of color.

While I’m not a professional stylist or know-it-all, I’m proud to say I’ve been team natural for almost six years now and have a good sense about what works and doesn’t work, at least for my hair.

Don’t Lisa Price (y’all know, the founder of Carol’s Daughter) and I look like family?

A few people I know have found themselves in a Brad Pitt situation: They have a black child and no concept of what “greasing a scalp” means (side note: Lisa said Brad reached out to her when he and Angie adopted their African daughter Zahara). After all, it’s not their fault they’re clueless as it’s nothing they would do on a regular basis. Plus, kids don’t exactly come with a manual, no matter how many people make you feel like a bad parent.

Rather than feel offended, I embrace the opportunity to share stories and provide whatever useful advice I can give. Yes, hair textures will vary, even in the African-American community, but at least they have some idea of what to do — instead of letting their child’s hair look like it got stuck in a light socket.

One of my closest gal pals has a family member who adopted a black child. Needless to say, they were excited to have a child but completely in the dark about what to expect when it came to hair products. Thankfully they realized all the TRESemmé in the world would not work on their daughter’s hair the way it did theirs. At least that’s a step in the right direction.

As you would expect with anyone trying to be “about that life,” there was much trial and error. Luckily they found a series of hair products that works for their child and continue to learn about different styles thanks to the online library known as YouTube. Heck, they even turned me on the website Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care that gives white mommies tips on black hair.

So the next time you want to immediately side-eye a person from the Caucasian persuasion who asks you natural hair questions, consider letting down your guard a bit as they might really need your help.  

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