An Interview With Love: How I Realized I Was Looking For It In All The Wrong Places

August 13, 2015  |  

 

I’ve been misled about how this whole “love” thing works. It all started when I was a kid.  One of my favorite love scenes growing up and to this day, hands down, is from Dirty DancingI know, it’s not the first love story you think of when it comes to the epic ones shared on the big screen, but it has always made me swoon.

Baby sneaks off to Johnny’s (Patrick Swayze) cabin and they dance their way into a sexual escapade. The best part about their exchange is the way he dips her in a swooping motion. You watch her surrender herself to him when she releases her upper body and closes her eyes. The song in the background says, “Don’t you feel like crying?”

*sighs*

Hell yeah, I feel like crying! Hollywood had me mentally screwed as a child thinking love was one family vacation and a dance lesson away. I begged my mother to take me to Catskills Resort! And guess what? Catskills Resort doesn’t even exist! Message to Hollywood: kill yourself!

Ok, I know that’s harsh. I’m just saying, why paint the picture that love is so easy when clearly it’s one of the hardest things to find and to undertake during your lifetime? When I didn’t have the love that I saw as the standard in my favorite films, the love I saw others around me engulfed in, I felt some kind of way. I felt like I needed answers. Would I ever find it? Why does it sometimes hurt so much? I set out to get those answers.

Stay with me here.

I decided to put my journalism skills to use and try to snag an interview with Love. I managed to reach her publicist and set up a meeting with Love at Starbucks Coffee. Our meeting was at 6 p.m. I arrived about 15 minutes early to make sure I could find us a table. I found the perfect table facing a painting of a little girl and boy holding hands by a lake (quite symbolic don’t you think?). Around 5:55 p.m., I ordered our drinks. Her publicist informed me that she was very particular about her drink and had given me exact instructions on what to order. Love wanted a Venti Dark Cherry Mocha with two shots of espresso, extra hot, with extra whipped cream. I took our drinks to the table and waited for her to arrive. At 6:15 p.m., no love. By 6:45 p.m., still no love. I waited and waited for her, and she never showed. At 9:00 p.m. the cashier gently tapped me on my shoulder and said, “I’m sorry ma’am, but we are closing for the evening.”

Disappointed, I got up, brushed the banana walnut bread off my dress, gathered my things and left. I didn’t hear anything from Love or her publicist.

About a month later, Love called. She apologized for missing the interview and wanted to schedule a time and date to meet–for real this time. We were to meet at her home on a Friday evening. It was clear that I was the one who had been kept waiting, but still, she was in control, and I was on her time. I accepted the invitation.

When I arrived at her house, her assistant answered the door and led me in. Her house had simplistic yet thoughtful decor. There were pictures of captured memories all in black and white, strategically placed around the house. I sat down in the parlor and waited for her to join me. She took her sweet time, yet again. But as I looked around the room, a framed picture caught my attention. It was the only picture in the house that was in color. I was intrigued, so I got up to get a closer look. When I picked up the frame, in it was a picture of my face, my eyes, my smile, my body…me.

I grabbed the picture, picked up my purse and left.

I realized while I was waiting for Love that real love was right here. Inside of me. Not in another individual. Not something that I couldn’t have on my own. All of the broken hearts, lost loved ones, tests, and trials are all faded and fading memories. I am light. I am love. And so are you.

This metaphorical story is for so many of us who seek out happiness through relationships with other people. Who feel that without one, we don’t have love. But that isn’t the case. A healthy relationship is definitely a beautiful thing. However, when you truly learn to love yourself, you already have found that peace. That satisfaction. That happiness. That love. Look no further, love is inside of you.

 

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