Experienced, Non-Expert Advice On Being A First Time Mom
Whenever a woman is blessed with the gift of bearing a child, other moms quickly go into Dr. Lipschitz mode, and offer up unsolicited advice on motherhood, and childbirth. When I was pregnant it seemed like everything other parents had to say was horribly negative, and quite depressing. I despised every bit of advice that was so freely given to me because none of it seemed helpful. “Better get your sleep now, you’ll never sleep again”, “being a single mom sucks, it’s such a struggle”, and “kids are so expensive”, everyone was complaining. While these things may be true for some parents, each experience is relative. While some people find comfort in extensive research, book reading and wise words from others, I preferred a less formal approach to my pregnancy. All I wanted was good vibes and positive energies. I focused on remaining unjaded and making my experience mine. With enough stress to drown a whale it was critical I blocked out all forms of negative energy coming my way.
As a first time mom, here are a few things I picked up along the way that helped me keep my sanity:
1. Every pregnancy isn’t the same. Just because your best friend had swollen feet heartburn and morning sickness for four4 months, doesn’t mean that’s your pregnancy destiny too. Yes, a lot of women experience many of the same symptoms but there are also many women who never even experience contractions.
2. Take advice with a grain of salt. There is no “right way” to be a mom, just be what works you, your baby and your family. What was does not have to be so. Your mother, and grandmother’s mothering handbook is transient, don’t be afraid to change the game!
3. Do what works for you, and your baby. Every newborn is not the same. Some sleep, some do not. Some immediately want to eat, and some just want to rest. If it works for you and the baby to sleep together, then do it! You may have a time breaking the kid out of the bed in the future, but that is a small battle in grand scheme of things. You and your baby will be able to communicate, so don’t panic if things aren’t playing out the way books, and people said they would.
4. If you want to nurse, do it! If you choose not to nurse don’t, and don’t let anyone shame you either way! Sometimes babies don’t latch right away, that’s ok! Don’t let anyone convince you to give up.
5. Don’t take anyone’s BS about being a C-section mom! We are all moms and the way by which your child entered the world does not dictate your value, or qualification as a mother.
6. Enjoy every moment because time flies! Your little peanut will fit perfectly on your shoulder one day, and be the length of your torso the next. Cherish every moment, and take extra care to remember the good days when things get tough.
7. Most importantly, take care of yourself. You don’t have to do and be everything, all the time. Children of all ages can pick up on our energies, and the best way to care for our children is to make sure we are well mentally, physically, and emotionally ourselves.