Randy Ritchwood: Stop Being Selfish In Your Relationship!

April 21, 2015  |  

When two people get together there are a lot of things that come into play. For one, if you are married or dating you are constantly merging personalities, experiences and expectations. As I take a look at different issues that make relationships fall apart, I find that there is usually a hint of selfishness involved. Just that raw, immature – ‘I Don’t Give A Damn’ attitude that often destroys an otherwise healthy relationship at its core. Like I always state to my readers – I’m not a doctor or a therapist, but I often tell my friends or family who are seeking relationship advice that when a man or women is selfish or stuck in their own stubborn and self-defeating ways  – often behaving without a care in their heart, they are setting their relationship up for straight up failure. Keep in mind, not every relationship you lose, you can get back.

Ask yourself this question – How can anyone love and respect you and your relationship if you only want what works in your favor and not theirs? True, selfishness comes in many different forms, but if you don’t get it in check it will be the thing that sends your relationship straight out the door. Think about the time you spend with the woman or man that you are loving – how can they continue to love you if you are too busy for them? How can they continue to trust you if you violate them? How can they continue to support you, if you deceive them or misguide them? Basically, how can they or anyone for that matter invest in love if its based on pure selfishness. For instance, if you work a hectic job plus overtime, how can you expect your partner to prepare your favorite meal if they know that you will be walking through the door with that nasty attitude you carry? Why would they want to take care of your needs, when you are only thinking of your own? Why would they want to brighten your day, when your make theirs so dark? As mature parents who have been there and done that, who has the time or the energy to fix a really broken situation? Or at least, fix a person who doesn’t want to fix themselves.

When you want what you want when you want it and become problematic when things don’t go your way, you become a virus to your partner. In order for your union to grow, both partners have to be able to communicate and be considerate of each other’s feelings and expectations.  Trust me, you can win the battle of love if you and your other half put each other first. For the sparkle to continue in your relationship you have to understand your partners needs while working on your love for each other.

If we take the time out to share more smiles than bitterness and if we take the time out to really appreciate our relationship things will be alright in the end. However, if we continue to see our relationship from just our rigid point of view and if we continue to be stubborn, we might as well be prepared to lose it all. Why participate in a relationship if you aren’t trying to win in the end? My advice – open up and be willing and ready to love.

Randy Ritchwood: Stop Being Selfish In Your Relationship!

Randy ‘Wood’ Ritchwood is an East Orange, New Jersey resident and a divorced father of 4. He is also a serial businessman, restaurant owner, real estate owner, and the former reality star of ‘I Love New York.”Wood’ as he is often addressed, is also the 2005 winner of Oxygen’s show ‘Mr. Romance.’ To spice up Mommynoire from a man’s perspective, he will be contributing a weekly column targeting sex, intimacy, dating, marriage, baby mamas, and divorce challenges. In his eyes: “Remember, I’m not your doctor, I’m not your therapist, I’m just your man ‘Wood’ Randy Ritchwood.

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