Randy Ritchwood: Should You Still Spend On Your Ex?

April 1, 2015  |  

A few weeks ago, folks on the internet were going crazy because mega-comedian Kevin Hart gave his ex-wife, Torrei Hart, a brand new Escalade truck for her birthday. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what he did wrong. I mean, that is the mother of his two kids, and on top of that, she is his ex-wife, who was there during the beginning of his career.  On the real, I’m sure with the amount of money that he is making up in Hollywood, splurging on his ex and kids is probably rewarding to him. Looking at how he expressed his love for his ex is good. I’m not saying he is in love with her, I’m saying after all that they have been through, it’s cool that he is in position to look out for her periodically. You have to be a strong position to move and think like that.

As a man who prides himself on taking care of my family, and also as a father of four, which includes baby mothers and an ex-wife, if they are in need and I got it, then I am going to try to hold them down the best I can, if need be. When a man has a family, regardless if he is still in the house or not, its his job to provide and make sure that his family is comfortable. Again, I’m not saying go out on shopping sprees for your ex, but by all means, if they are having a challenging time, be there, without expecting anything in return. God blesses those who bless others. In my eyes, I think it shows the kids that you still care about the unit, even if the unit is divided.

So many women may ask – isn’t that way of thinking offensive to your new relationship? Well, let’s be clear and be honest – we are all grown. We all have a past. Any person that you are dealing with should respect your history. As long as you aren’t moving in a disrespectful manner, your significant other should understand your motives for helping out an ex, if needed. Feelings don’t just die off because you are no longer together. But you can really tell when you are in a good space in your relationship with an ex when you can help them, without seeking anything from them.

Sure, thinking like that may put you at odds with your other half, and sure there may be hint of jealously underneath, but hopefully, you can reassure them that’s it nothing more than you being a support system. In the case of Torrei Hart, her ex bought her a truck on her birthday. According to her, his fiancee was good with it, and so was her man. I mean, she has 2 kids by Kevin. The kids are growing. They may have sports activities and bunch of friends that may make having a truck easier. Besides, let’s keep it 100 here – as we said before, he can afford it.

As we get older, we have to get past how we look at old relationships, especially if kids are involved. We have to let go of our selfishness. If there is no bad blood between you and an ex and everyone respects each other’s new relationship, then I think its okay to spend on an ex. In some cases, your current partner may encourage you to do that. I’ve noticed that there is a major increase in blended families. In order for those units to work, everyone has to put their pride aside and be willing to work and do for each for the greater good.

Randy Ritchwood: Should You Still Spend On Your Ex?

Randy ‘Wood’ Ritchwood is an East Orange, New Jersey resident and a divorced father of 4. He is also a serial businessman, restaurant owner, real estate owner, and the former reality star of ‘I Love New York.”Wood’ as he is often addressed, is also the 2005 winner of Oxygen’s show ‘Mr. Romance.’ To spice up Mommynoire from a man’s perspective, he will be contributing a weekly column targeting sex, intimacy, dating, marriage, baby mamas, and divorce challenges. In his eyes: “Remember, I’m not your doctor, I’m not your therapist, I’m just your man ‘Wood’ Randy Ritchwood.

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