Don’t Wait, Date!

March 12, 2015  |  

Laides, have you ever found yourself in the throws of a breakup, shuffling between the idea of flying free and re-entering the brutal, yet, noncommittal world of dating versus settling for uniformity and familiarity to avoid the dating game all together while remaining in a state of constant misery? Yes? Well, check this out, the reality of the situation is this: tigers – the don’t change stripes. In other words, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. In short, you cannot change a man or manipulate him to do so! Of course, there are some redeeming qualities about him that you’d like to see grow into a normal pattern of behavior for him, right? Then there’s that “potential” he has. Well, guess what? You cannot marry, invest or place your faith in said “potential” and if you’ve been waiting around for months or years for a man to show you the person you see in him despite what he’s been showing you – it’s time. Cut the cord. You’re not getting any younger and you can’t wait for him to be what you need, he either is or he isn’t – period. Let’s not kid ourselves here!

So here’s the deal, ladies! Chances are, you know it’s over before it’s official to a point where you can distinctly remember the beginning of the end, right? Once you get to the point where you’ve simply had enough and you know beyond the shadow of a doubt, he’s just not the one for you. Move on … and do so swiftly!

As a rule of thumb, we know men tend to maintain a deep desire for what they can’t have. Like vultures, they repeat the arial circling, patiently stalking you until the love that you once prioritized dies. In other words, there are always men waiting in the rafters for you to become single again. You know the ones, they hit you with the “well, when he messes up with you, come holler at a real dude,” meaning himself. Then you have the guy who’s like “oh, you not allowed to have friends? What’s the harm in a coffee one morning?” There are always a few waiting, so don’t waste your time sitting at home on a Friday night singing sad love songs and drowning your sorrows with wine and fat snacks. Why? Why go into a hole about it? Get out there! Don’t wait, date! Disclaimer: If you’re a total wreck, crying uncontrollably and inconsolable, by all means, sit out for a few more weeks and get it together, pronto!

There’s just a few simple rules to follow though, ladies. So here’s the rub – you already know that men are going to test you and try to take advantage of your situation – they just can’t help themselves because they’re looking for an in. They’re going to pry and ask a slew of questions as to why you’re suddenly single and those questions are strictly off limits! No matter how bad you want a “male perspective” leave it alone. A simple, “I don’t want to talk about it” will quickly change the subject and if he’s relentless – go radio silent on him. You can show him better than you can tell him. Boom!

Another rule to adhere to – no pickups or drop offs! Not only is this a trap, it’s a setup! After a few too many, you might be feeling a little uninhibited and end up doing something you’re not mentally ready for. Find somewhere reasonably close to meet him and – arrive separate and leave separate! Girl, go home … alone!

Also, be sure to keep the first few dates a simple as possible. Go for pizza, a tapas bar, coffee, a walk in the park – something along those lines. This allows you the space to dress down and set a friendly tone versus one of romance! We’re not busting out the best dress and sexy stilettos just yet, less is more and make him work to see you all dolled up! He can wait … and he will!

Remember, we’re not jumping out there to find love or pursue a new relationship son after a breakup, we’re doing this to test the waters to a.) remember what it’s like to actually date b.) understand what it is within ourselves we should be working on in terms of relating to the opposite sex i.e, am I bitter? am I carrying excess baggage? am I seriously that far removed from the dating scene I forgot how to do this? c.) enjoy yourself in the company of a man.

Ladies, listen – trust and believe, your ex is not sitting at home crying in his cereal over you so it’s best you do the same, keep it pushing and enjoy yourself in the meantime! Don’t wait, date!

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