What was an amazing moment also became a tragedy for Phoenix couple Carlos and Erica Morales. Erica who was pregnant with the couple’s quadruplets conceived through IVF went into labor at seven months pregnant. She ended up delivering three girls and one boy and a few hours after her C-section she went into hypovolemic shock, an emergency condition where one experiences a severe amount of blood loss. She died at 1:50 a.m. on Jan. 16.
In his interview with PEOPLE he said:
“How could this have happened?” he asked, something that still haunts him today. “She was fine, and then she wasn’t. She was alive and then she was just gone.”
He still asks himself every day if there is something he could have done to keep his wife alive.
“I went from having the best day of my life to the next morning experiencing the worst day of my life,” Carlos says. “My four babies came into the world and then my wife died.”.
“Everything I do now is for my children,” Carlos, who will return to work, tells PEOPLE. “Our family and friends have been very supportive too.”
One friend, Nicole Todman, created a GoFundMe page where people can donate.
It’s hard for Carlos to think of the future when he still can’t understand the past.
“When I’m alone at home I still tell myself that I hope I’m dreaming,” he says. “Erica was the most special person in the world and she should be here to love her babies.”
Just recently he found a note that she had written on her iPad.
She had jotted down her dreams for her children to go to college, speak both English and Spanish and to have good jobs.
“I will try my hardest to make sure that happens,” he says.
And he draws comfort from his Catholic faith. He knows when he held all four babies for the first time after they were born, Erica was looking down on her family from heaven.