When was the last time you pleasured yourself? No, I don’t mean the kind that some people thinks grows hair on your palms or makes you go blind. I’m asking: when was the last time you purposefully did something for yourself that brought you pleasure? Not happiness. Not contentment. Not satisfaction. But pure unadulterated pleasure. I bet you can’t remember, can you?
And if you’re a mother, I already know what you’re going to say, “What’s pleasure?”
Girl, you and I both know it’s been more than a minute since you even thought to think about doing something pleasurable for yourself. Well, I’m not here to chastise. I’m here to challenge.
Mothers of the world, I double-dog dare you to indulge in self pleasure. Start pleasuring yourselves!
That’s right! I want you to give yourself the gift you so deserve. Pleasure, my dear Sister Mothers, is our birthright. And it’s high time that you got some!
You see, pleasure is not just external. It’s not just about the manual manipulation of some body part. Experiencing the sensation of pleasure is also a mindset. Meaning, just about anything can take you to the heights and depths of pleasure if you allow it to. For example, one of the things that I do to reach that height is treat myself to the delectable combination that is a Toblerone candy bar and a small order of unbuttered, lightly-salted popcorn. You have no idea just how good this experience is for me!! This treat occurs on the rare occasion that I get to go to the movies, which makes it even more pleasurable for me (I do love my babies, but sometimes Momma needs a break!). There is just something about the moment when that candy bar and popcorn come together in my mouth that makes my eyes roll back into my head. Everything around me goes silent and I allow myself the full sensation of pleasure that eating those two things together brings. I do my best to stifle the moan that wants to escape my mouth with every bite. I don’t always succeed, though, which makes for some interesting stares from those seated near me. Ha!
I also fall into a pleasurable state when a good song comes on Pandora. If I’m at home when it happens, I allow my body to move the way it wants to move. Sometimes that’s a sensual full-body undulation and other times it’s a frenetic display of whatever movement my body wants in that moment. I lose myself in the music! And if I’m driving when I hear a good song, I can’t turn the volume up loud enough. My steering wheel becomes a drum that I begin to play and I envision myself smack dab in the middle of a music video I imagine for the song, starring me, of course. I’m sure my fellow drivers are looking at me like I’m crazy, but I don’t care…I’m in my pleasure zone! Another way that I experience indescribable pleasure is by being completely present with my sons. All I need to do is watch, listen and be with them and whatever they’re doing (excepts tantrums of course) and I am whisked away to the Land of Innocence & Joy. Their enthusiasm for even the simple task of stuffing magnetic letters into the cab of their dump truck is so mesmerizing and precious. I could watch them play for hours. Or when they break out into fits of laughter from either something they or I are doing. My whole body smiles when that happens! The pleasure they get from discovering and learning fuels my own pleasure center. Motherhood has to be one of my greatest sources of pleasure these days. I’ve given you some examples of how I experience pleasure as a way to encourage you to find your own pleasure center and now. It’s not as hard as you might imagine and it’s necessary. Because a mother who is connected to her own pleasure adds to the tapestry of love and possibility that ALL mothers are committed to. Not only for ourselves and our children, but also for our world. Those of us mothers who are in the trenches doing the healing work on self that we know will set us free are the foundation of change that is so needed in our world today. So giving yourself pleasure is not a selfish act at all. Your joy is the seed that blossoms into the joy of everyone around you. Your experience of pleasure, in all of its delicious forms, can positively affect everything and everyone you come in contact with.
Now that you know what’s at stake, will you accept my challenge? Are you ready for the adventure?
How will you pleasure yourself today?