Breaking The Silence Of Fertility Issues
Becoming a mother is a true gift that not every woman is given the opportunity to experience.
Most women dream of the joys of having their first child and embarking on the journey we call motherhood. However, the journey to motherhood is not always so clear cut. Many women struggle with infertility issues, some lose their children in the womb and some even suffer the tragedy of infant mortality just after experiencing to joy of giving life. Each of these tragedies has its own trauma, and the moment when the joy of motherhood might be taken away a woman feels powerless.
Becoming pregnant, staying pregnant and delivering a healthy child are life challenges unique to women. When a woman is faced with fertility issues, a miscarriage or loss after birth, motherhood instantly becomes unattainable. She doesn’t know how to feel, how to react or even how to cope. In an instant she feels alone with her thoughts and feelings. Her first response is What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me? Indeed, so many women suffer from these pangs in silence. Why? Is it because they feel ashamed as if they felt inadequate? Or is it because they feel that no one can truly understand their pain? I believe that it is both of these reasons.
Before I had my son, after I had my daughter, I had a miscarriage. Suddenly feelings of inadequacy, sadness, and pain became my reality. I wasn’t sure how to deal with what had happen nor did I understand why. I wanted to just crawl up and shut out the world. I received flowers, condolences and support from my husband but I still felt that no one really understood what I was going through nor did I want to have to explain it or share my pain with anyone. Suddenly I felt so alone. As time passed, I began to slowly accept what had happened and eventually I was able to move on and continue with a semblance of normalcy. During this whole transition, I never sought guidance or support to help me cope with what had happened. I just assumed it was an experience that no woman really talked about. Looking back, I wish I was more willing to seek support and guidance because in reality, unfortunately, there are many women who share this tragic experience. There are many different resources out there that can aid in giving us the support we need.
Babycenter.com, parenting.com, and meetup.com, for example, all provide great resources for locating local support groups. I also encourage using Facebook for women who have experienced such trauma to start their own support groups. This is a great way to get advice from women from all around the world.
It’s time to break the silence. All aspects of motherhood should be embraced even the disappointments and heartbreaks because it’s what makes us better women and better mothers. We need to draw strength from the heartache and share our stories because it’s that very moment that we can begin to heal, move on and seek to once again chart that glorious journey toward Motherhood. The journey is not always straight and sure. There will always be twists and turns that we are not going to expect, but when we can reach out to one another we can lift each other up and the silence can become a resounding affirmation.