Happy With Myself: It’s Essential To Know You’re The Bomb

May 23, 2016  |  


The skin on her face was blotchy and ashy. In fact it was an unnatural, almost ghostly shade of gray – several shades lighter than the cocoa-brown hand that gave me back my change. I looked at the young cashier with pity and choked back an urge to reach out and hug the poor, misguided girl. She couldn’t have been more than 20 years old, and already she’d bleached the hell out of her skin.

I see it at all levels daily. Whether it’s the local grocery store cashier intentionally robbing herself of the beautiful melanin God gave her, or a singer transforming herself into someone we don’t even recognize through cosmetic surgery, we women are sending the same strong message to the world. We’re shouting (not whispering), “Hello, world! We are women and we are NOT happy with ourselves!”

I find it tremendously sad that we women, who are easily the most naturally amazing creatures on the planet, refuse to accept ourselves. Maybe we’ve just succumb to the sick images that the media is constantly feeding us. But at some point we have to slap ourselves and realize how insane these messages are. You don’t see men running around bleaching their skin, changing their weaves like they change their underwear, squeezing into Spanx and embarking on crazy fad diets in hopes to whittle away their pounds. No! I don’t care if a man is fat, wrinkled, bald and hairy. He smiles, sticks out his chest and chooses to accept himself just the way he is. And we all applaud and say, “Now, there goes a really confident guy. He’s got swag. I like it.”

Well, I think it’s high time that we women make a conscious decision to accept ourselves and love our gorgeous flaws. I, for one, am on a pilgrimage to be happy with myself. I invite you to go on this self-acceptance journey with me by:

Step 1. Being more forgiving of yourself. When I make mistakes, I’ll look at them as just that – mistakes. Not catastrophes and not major downfalls. I’m not the superwoman the media tells me that I need to be. I’m beautifully human. The more that I forgive myself, the more I’ll love myself inside and out.

Step 2. Working with what you’ve got. Maybe I’m not a gorgeous supermodel. My gray hairs are starting to grow quicker than my dark brown hairs. And my skin’s youthful glow is beginning to dim just a bit. But guess what – I’m still fabulous. Just the more mature model of what the Creator made me to be. I’ll accept the changes that come with time and work what I’ve got!

Step 3. Celebrate your accomplishments large and small. Like many women, I often focus on what I haven’t done. As I stare at my life’s endless to do list, it’s easy to be dissatisfied with who I am and what I’ve done. Instead, I’ll refocus my attention on what I have been able to accomplish. I’m pretty amazing, and worth celebrating. I bet you are too!

Step 4. Tell myself that I’m beautiful and mean it. I’ll no longer wait for compliments from others. Let’s face it, sometimes they just don’t come. I’ll look at myself everyday with loving eyes and compliment myself. I will tell myself that I am beautiful, smart, kind and loved. And the love and acceptance that I give myself will be enough.
Will you take this self-acceptance journey with me? What steps are you going to take to be happy with yourself?

Yolanda Darville is a wife, mom and freelance writer focusing on issues that make a difference. To read more of her writings connect with her on Twitter at @YolandaDarville.

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