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Lesson: How to Rock Your Success Your Way!

We see you. You have a vision for your life. There is something big that you want to do. Something huge you came to say. Some kind of magic you were born to make.

We know you. We are you.

There’s just one tiny problem. Actually it’s not a problem because it’s easy fixable. Let’s call it a challenge.

If I was a teacher grading your paper, I might write that you are not living up to your potential. Why not? Many reasons, but the excuses stop here. While I’ve been on book tour with “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love” I have had so many Noire women tell me that they want to live their dreams.

My visionary sisters, this one is just for you. It’s time to manifest what you want and reinvent your own life.

How to Step Into Your Business Bombshell Best!

1. Have your own magnitude of greatness.

In our celebrity driven culture, it can be a challenge to keep your eyes on your own “paper.” Beyonce Knowles and Oprah Winfrey are impacting the world in huge ways, but their ways don’t have to be yours. It can be daunting to compare your life to celebrities and super stars. So many of us have FOMO and what I call, “Death by LOL,” because social media is showing us only other people’s show off moments. Be focused on your self. You are the only one you’re competing with.

2. Visualization.

If you cannot clearly see it, chances are slim that you can be it. Have a clear vision for what you want to do and who you want to be. Cultivate this vision. Literally close your eyes, get quiet, and see yourself in the job, running the business, releasing the unhealthy weight, or whatever your big dream is for you. Visualization is used to train both astronauts and athletes because our bodies can not tell the difference between you imagining something an you living it. Visualization sets your mind in motion to figure of the “how.”

3. Write it down.

You’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times. Those who have written goals tend to be more successful. Write down exactly the life you want to live. This is not a blueprint written in stone, however. You still have to be flexible and open to the fact that All That Is may be dreaming a much bigger dream for you then you have for yourself. Writing down your goals also helps you get clear on whether opportunities that come your way are a yay or a nay.

4. Start small with what you have.

Sure, you want your jewelry line or new branding company to be a million dollar venture – and it can be. Don’t waste valuable time trying to find investors, greenlighters, or cheerleader before you move forward. You should definitely open yourself up to having support, but don’t wait to begin. The Universe rewards movement. Start where you are. What can you do today with what you already have?

5. Release perfection.

Perfect is the enemy of good. Many of us have analysis paralysis. If you wait for your big vision, website, business cards or whatever to be absolutely perfect before you begin, you’ll never start. Perfection does not exist. The very idea of perfection keeps us small and puny. You are perfect in your imperfections. Begin.

6. Don’t wait until you’re not afraid.

So you have a big idea, dream, or goal. Wonderful for you. It is a gift to know your purpose and feel a calling. That’s the good news. The bad news is that you’re terrified. It is scary and downright frightening to put yourself out there. It’s all good. You are human. This is natural. Do not wait until you are not scared anymore to move forward. Feel the fear, acknowledge it, and rise into your shine. Fear just means that you are human. Courage is built in tiny actions.

7. Use your envy as an indicator.

All of us have experienced the little green monster. That envy is something else, isn’t it? The voice that says with an eye roll, “look at her!” The shine you see in anyone else is only because you have light within you too. Let go of comparing yourself or hating on someone else’s magic. Put the energy instead into you doing you. Use your envy instead as a valuable indicator of your own wants needs and desires. Then, genuinely send love to the other person and pray for their success. Say, yes, “look at her!” with a proud smile. Rising tides lift all boats.

8. Examine your yeses and your nos.

Yes and no are such small words — but they dictate so much of our lives. You want to be the kind of woman who says yes when she means yes and no when she means no. This is true personal power. Saying yes when you don’t mean it is detrimental people pleasing. You are worthy of having your needs met — so spot it! Say yes, to big, bright opportunities. Say yes to your self-care. Say yes to yourself. Say no and have clear boundaries.

9. If you can’t find the right opportunity, create it.

Sure, it helps if you have money or know people. However, you can start from scratch at any moment. There is a powerful movement of women entrepreneurs sweeping our country. The conglomerates are still doing their thing but small business owners are rocking it. IF you can’t find a job, figure out a way to create one. My mom sold Avon when I was a baby. My cousin in Guyana makes meals in her kitchen then rides from business to business on her bike selling healthy breakfasts and lunches. You have the power. You are the mistress of your destiny.

10. Your comfort zone will not move you forward.

Becoming the mistress of your own domain will require you to step outside of your comfort zone. If your vision required comfort you would have already done it. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Step beyond what feels easy and comfortable. Partner with people who are strong where you are weak. If your goal requires you to get on stages and you have stage fright, get some coaching. If the players in your industry are all in Cali and you live in Detroit, meet with them virtually. I know a power publicist who was running things in NYC from her garage in Atlanta for years and none of her high profile clients knew the difference.

11. Forget the haters.

Haters are an irrelevant myth, like the bogeyman. Yeah, they exist but they have nothing to do with you. Eyes on your own lane. Don’t waste time wondering who is throwing darts from the sidelines. If you know who your haters are you are spending too much time thinking about losers who have no bearing on your success. If the hater is a boss or higher up don’t sweat it. Be clear on your vision, make your paper trail tight, manage your own brand within the company and online, and you will be a’ight!

12. Don’t expect non-visionaries to get your vision.

Some people won’t get your vision. That’s okay. They are not the ones who have to live your life. You don’t need to convince anyone of your greatness. Just be it, do it, live it. They will have no other choice but to lead, follow or get out of the way.


You have been given a mission. That mission is to become your extraordinary self. There is no one else who can do it but you. The mission will self-destruct unless you stop playing small.

Release the excuses and GO for it! Stop worrying about what other people think of you.Stop  waiting for the right time. Stop waiting period.

Do it.

Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class

Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams is the author of “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love,” winner of the African American Literary Award for best self-help book. She gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and creating the lives we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to Ebony and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Abiola is also the creator of the African Goddess Affirmation Cards. Tweet @abiolaTV.


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