OkCupid Reports: Black Men & Women, Asian Men Struggle in the Online Dating Game

September 16, 2014  |  

This weekend while sitting over a Sushi dinner with friends the conversation of online dating came up. My 30-year-old Black male friend starts to discuss OKCupid.com.  And honestly, at first I thought people still use that??? Soon to be put in my place. Yes, they do. And it’s hooking some people up a lot faster than others.

“I’m so tired of women stating on their profile they are not interested in Black guys.”

“Are these… Black women?” I asked, surely believing he’d say no.

“Yes, Black women, African women and others. I wrote a girl one time and told her it was offensive.”


It reminded me of a conversation I had just a few days back when my Black girlfriends said they always felt somewhat stunned when  (the few times) White men approached them. How they felt guilty for feeling this way and that race shouldn’t make them be so privy to other men. But, we all do it in some way, shape or form. And I admitted that I am also typically surprised when a White man (it’s been a good 6-7 months) tries to get the digits.

So, when I opened up OkCupid’s founder, Christian Rudder’s report analyzing interactions of over 25 million people between 2009 – 2014, the findings should not have come as a surprise. Black men and women, and Asian men have the hardest time getting a date via the site.

And now I was all in my BlackandSexyTV “Hello Cupid” mode of… let’s do a social experiment guys! It was not met with mutual excitement so I digressed and returned to Rudder’s findings.

“Basically, the site’s ten-year history has been one long episode of Judge Judy. Here’s the verdict on race,” writers Rudder. In 2009, non-Back men placed a penalty on Black women while Black men showed little racial preference in their online dating habits. However, all women preferred men of their own race. But, many penalized Asian and Black men.

Here’s a snapshot of 2009: 

“OkCupid users are certainly no more open-minded than they used to be. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit,” writers Rudder.

And here we are in 2014:


Not on OkCupid? Wondering how this affects you?

Well, Rudder says his website very much so mirrors many of the preferences people show overall. And while you may not be heading to a first date many other occasions in life feel like just that – a job interview, apartment renting, meeting a stranger.

“In short, ‘beautiful people’ receive a lot of the same built-in benefits in our society that white people do… Beauty is a cultural idea as much as a physical one, and the standard is of course set by the dominant culture. I believe that’s what you see in the data here. One interesting thing about OkCupid’s interface is that we allow people to select more than one race, so you can actually look at people who’ve combined “white” with another racial description. Adding “whiteness” always helps your rating! In fact it goes a long way towards undoing any bias against you.”

Adding “whiteness” always helps your rating is a mouthful of truth minorities have lived for some time now.


Ladies, Fellas – Does this represent your dating preference? Have you dated outside your race? Why or Why not?

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