Welcome to Love School. Class is in session! Abiola’s Love School is a weekly empowered Love Lesson, inspirational class and juicy conversation about love, relationships, dating, sex, commitment and self-worth. Let’s move beyond the surface to experience the true love and intimacy we deserve.
Love Lesson: Soul Mate Power with Asa
We need more positive energy in the world and we definitely need more positivity on reality TV. Women like Demetria Lucas of Bravo’s “Blood, Sweat & Heels,” Bershan Shaw of OWN’s “Love in the City,” “Mary Mary” on WEtv, and Asa Soltan Rahmati of Bravo’s “Shahs of Sunset” are helping to reflect more diverse voices than we’re accustomed to seeing in our popular media. Asa told me, “I’m really happy to be a woman of color and to be on TV on such a very wide-level platform. I think that’s a big step in society that’s happening.”
Also known as the “Persian Pop Priestess,” Asa is a performance artist, visual artist and an entrepreneur who created Diamond Water. Asa grew up in Iran until she was seven-years-old. Then, she and her family fled as refugees to Germany where she lived for the next seven years. As a teen, she moved to Los Angeles and majored in philosophy and psychology at UCLA.
Previously, Madame Noire covered Asa’s beautiful soul mate relationship with Jermaine Jackson Jr., who could easily be considered African-American royalty worldwide. Now, Asa shares what love means to her and how you can manifest your own timeless love affair.
Greetings Asa! How do you answer the question, “What do you do?”
For me, art, life, love is all sort of interconnected. Even in my artwork, I use my life as a way of expressing what I’ve been through. My journey becomes my art.
You know, it’s funny people ask me about my music career. I never look at it as a career, anything I do. I’ve always been a visual artist and music is another form of expression for me. I really miss making music. I haven’t been able to make any just because Diamond Water is my baby.
Asa, with love, Diamond Water, music, art, TV and in life, you’re going for it. What makes you so courageous?
That’s a really good question. First, thank you for the compliment. I feel already more confident for you to tell me these things. Here’s the thing: I think the only way to live your life is to live fearlessly. You have to do things fearlessly and passionately. I know it’s not easy. It’s always not easy for me either, but fake it until you make it. Fake it to yourself. Just throw yourself out there because this is your life. And if you don’t do it, who’s going to do it for you? I think all of us have a moment when we realize if you don’t do it, it’s not going to happen. Once I realized that, I just kind of move forward with as much courage as I can get together at that moment and I just do it.
Jermaine Jackson, Jr. is the love of your life and your soul mate. What is his place in your life?
His place is absolutely everywhere in my life. There is no place that is not his place in my life. We love each other so much. I keep our relationship very private. As far as TV goes, he was only in “Shahs” last year for a few minutes. People are like, “Are you married?” “Are you this, are you that?” I kind of like to answer that general question and leave it alone. I really think in this world everything’s so over-shared. It’s important to keep certain things sacred and for yourself. I love him so much.
I met him when I first moved to American when I was 15. We went to high school together. We weren’t together then. We were both really shy. We ran into each other four years ago and we’ve been together ever since. We’re inseparable.
Beautiful. What tips do you have for us on love and long-term relationships?
I think you have to be really true to yourself before you can manifest that perfect person in your life. You have to stay true to what you want and who you are. So often in our society, men do this too but [particularly women] think they need a person and they start adjusting to that person in order to make it happen. I think if you stay true to who you are and you focus on bettering yourself all the time, you will manifest the perfect situation and the person you’re supposed to be with. I really believe in manifesting your destiny in that way and your soul mate is your destiny. Other than that, I think you need patience and communicating. We’re mirrors for each other. When you’re in a really, really close relationship, whether it’s friendship or with your parents or with your love, they’re a mirror and a reflection of who you are. You have to always be working on yourself and you work together also on the relationship.
You have to stay open. I’m learning every day. I’m not saying I know so much about relationships. You have to learn. I think it’s a growing process until you die.
It’s an evolution, right?
Absolutely. Yeah, all the time. And it does not end, trust me.
Well, you mentioned once that you are traditional Persian wife at home, that you cook a four course vegetarian meal for your man every day. What does it mean to be a traditional Persian wife?
That’s such a good question. I’m almost post-modern the way I deal with my work and the way I am outside. But I’m very traditional when it comes to my home life.
I love just old-school style relationships and Jermaine’s also very traditional. Cooking isn’t even part of that. I love cooking because I love eating. I enjoy making him happy and I enjoy making food for both of us to enjoy. That’s sacred space. When you cook for your loved ones or for yourself, you’re putting so much love into the food and sitting down together, looking at each other’s face and eating.
That’s all sacred space and that’s sacred ritual. I think that’s something missing from our world today because we’re always in a hurry. We do things in such rapid ways sometimes. I think it’s important to slow down and have intent in the things that you do and mean something to you.
Yes, there’s such power in intention. Okay, here’s a controversial question, Asa. You are in an inter-faith, inter-cultural, interracial relationship which I know in certain parts of Persian culture is extremely taboo. What was the community reaction to your relationship? Was there any backlash that you or your family experienced?
That’s a good question. All those words you said, inter-faith, interracial… Everybody who’s been in love before, I think when you find that special person none of these things matter. There’s no ‘inter’, there’s only ‘one’.
As far as my family, I’m very, very blessed to be with a wonderful family. Obviously they love Jermaine and we’re all very, very close. Those things don’t really matter. My family is very interracial. My uncle in Germany, his wife is from Ghana. Our cousins are half Ghanaian and half Persian. My other cousins are married to Chinese women. We’re very mixed.
That’s a beautiful sentiment and advice. My upcoming book is named ‘The Official Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.” It’s about the sacred secrets of feminine power.
I like it.
I’m redefining the word ‘bombshell’ to mean a woman who loves and owns herself, mind, body and spirit. Given that, what makes you a bombshell?
That’s sweet. I guess I am a bombshell. We all are. What makes me a bombshell is my ability to connect into my heart and maybe radiate what I have inside to other people around me.
This season of “The Shahs of Sunset” just wrapped on Bravo and is gearing up for next season but you can catch Asa making art and magic with her life next season. Follow her on Twitter @AsaSoltan where you can find out how to enjoy her work and Diamond Water for yourself.
Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class
- Blood, Sweat & Heels: Demetria Lucas
- Oprah’s Love Guru: Paul Brunson
- What is Vagina Power?!
- What Men Want from Women
- Derrick Jaxn: ‘A Cheating Man’s Heart’
- Bershan Shaw: Oprah’s Newest Star
- Why Love Succeeds of Fails
- Are You Blocking Your Blessings?
Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Find love class worksheets, advice videos, coaching, and more at Abiola’s Love University. Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Official Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.” Abiola is also the creator of the “Love Body Spirit Detox” Program. Tweet @abiolaTV or #loveclass.