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By Tyreal Lewis

You had a long day at work. Your body is stiff from eight long hours of sitting at your desk. You’re mentally drained from dealing with co-workers, customers and your boss all day.  At the moment, nothing would be better than going home and being greeted with a nice big hug and a soft kiss to take your mind off the day, but instead when you get home your lover barely looks your way. Their eyes are glued to the television or they are on their smartphone doing God knows what.  They didn’t even see what you wore to work nor could they tell you if you changed your hairstyle. When you look at your lover, there isn’t a sparkle in their eye, but you can sure feel that cold chill coming from their heart. There’s no conversation and no affection.  The chemistry was right when you first met, but now the two of you are distant strangers.

So what do you do? How do you cope with feeling alone? Well, its definitely not easy, however there are ways to also gain a better understanding of how your relationship got to this point. These three steps are a good start:

Communication is always key.  Try to find out from your significant other if there is something troubling them. There can be something going on in their life that’s causing the disconnected feelings.  If nothing is troubling them, try expressing that you’ve been feeling some distance between the two of you. Sometimes you have to let go of your ego and ask if there’s something you can do better in the relationship. Even if you feel like you’re the “perfect” partner, there may be something you’ve totally overlooked. If you’ve done your part–and there are no complaints there–you can move on. Once you feel you have done your best you can feel free to move on without regrets.

This may seem odd because you are the one craving the attention, but go ahead and break the monotony of the relationship. Yes, do something different. Make yourself more desirable to your loved one by doing something they wouldn’t expect.  Sometimes people get comfortable and bored in a relationship and its easy to get distracted by life, stress, even social media, so bring the focus back to you! Try a romantic dinner at home or wear something sexy.  If your partner is pulling back or still being standoffish, this gives you a chance find out if you have a deeper problem in your relationship.

If it seems like there are troubled waters in your relationship, start doing things for yourself. You have to remember that your happiness is all that matters.  Anything that is damaging to your mental well-being must be removed from your life. It doesn’t matter if its people or substances. You must always do what is best for you.

These three steps are the beginning of the process. It is imperative that you assess the nature of your relationship in order to begin coping with making the changes necessary to focus on your happiness. Always remember that nothing is more important than your happiness. Many times in life things start falling apart so better things can fall together. One day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.  I remember in a previous relationship I was in, I always felt constantly ignored by my ex. Whenever I came home I was never greeted with any affection, any terms of endearment or anything encouraging. It wasn’t until I realized that I was doing everything in my power to try to make someone else happy but I was neglecting my own happiness.

It wasn’t until I focused on things that made me feel good that I got the courage to leave that person and start a new life.  Far too often people fear starting over because they don’t want to go through the process of getting to know someone new. One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone in a relationship. It can lead to more serious issues like depression and low self-esteem. So remember, your happiness is all that matters.  If its not important to someone else, it must be important to you.

 Stranger In My House: Coping With Feeling Alone in a Relationship

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