Abiola’s Love Class! Bad Relationship Habits to Break in 2014

January 2, 2014  |  

So it didn’t work out when you thought that it would. Most of us enter a relationship expecting it to never end. However, life intervenes. Heartbreak is real grief that is often underestimated. The only way to get through it is to keep going.

Do not get stuck in the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys.’ Take the lessons of the relationship and move forward. You were vulnerable and went for love. That is courageous. You will love again if you have the courage to open your heart again. Leave the love clutter, literally and figuratively, behind you.

5. Dating losers and toads.

We pursue the love we think that we deserve to have. If you are attracting people who mistreat you, the common denominator is you. Examine why you keep on attracting this one type with all of the billions of people on the planet.

You deserve to be loved, honored and cherished. Know that. Trust that. Believe that.

6. Seeking the one vs. being the one.

Every human being who wants love has a picture in their mind of what that love and lover will be like. One woman’s prince is another woman’s toad. However, we don’t want to get get bogged down in a list of superficial qualities and miss the prince entirely.

This year, instead of seeking the one, try being the one. Make a list of the qualities you want in a mate and see how you “measure up.” Are you trustworthy, physically fit, financially stable, upwardly mobile or whatever is on your list? If not, get to work!

7. Settling for physical intimacy over emotional intimacy.

If you don’t want to be in a relationship, then this doesn’t apply to you. Unfortunately, I field letters everyday from beautiful and brilliant bombshells who desperately want love but are settling for one night stand arrangements and friends with benefits. Write this down somewhere and commit it to memory: there is no such thing as casual sex. Swapping sweat with another human being will never ever be casual. No way, no how.

Next week we’ll continue to examine how you can rehab your love life for an amazing year!

Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class

 Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Find love class worksheets, advice videos, coaching, and more at Abiola’s Love University. Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Official Bombshell Handbook.” She is also the creator of the “Love Body Spirit Detox.”  ProgramTweet @abiolaTV or #loveclass. 

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