Dealing with Family Drama Over the Holidays

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As much as I am super excited for the holidays to come, it seems like people are overlooking the harsh reality of family drama that always seems to rear its ugly head. Call it unfortunate or just something we all have to deal with, but the thought of being around family when there’s tension puts the Grinch back into my Christmas.

I recently experienced a blow up with a member of my immediate family over Thanksgiving over something very silly. What makes matters worse is that we will see each other again for Christmas, which will definitely make things interesting, to say the very least. Now, of course I love this family member, but I tell you what–Lord help me if they start acting up (especially in my home of all places) because I might just lose it. Am I the only one who has that certain family member that just knows how to push the right buttons? It’s not that I go looking for a fight but why should I get walked over just so that someone else can have a good time?

One thing I have come to realize is that people regardless of blood connections will act how they are going to act. As much as we may try to switch up a situation, there’s oftentimes no helping a helpless cause if you know what I mean. While I was already caught off guard with my recent family altercation, I am taking this time before Christmas to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for our next interaction. One thing is certain; if you’re truly beefing with someone in your family to the point that it makes it uncomfortable for others, you might want to consider not spending the holidays together until you can sort out your mess. It’s not that you are trying to be childish but do step back if it’s that serious. In my case it’s more about a difference in personalities and how one handles their business that seems to be our setback – and as mentioned before, this person is a member of my immediate family (don’t want to put their business out there) so certain avenues may not be the wisest.

I have never liked the saying “blood is thicker than water” because truth be told I have a ton of friends who are closer to me than my own family. On the other hand, the holiday season is about giving thanks, time with loved ones and forgiveness in many ways. Even if I’m facing family drama I personally don’t want to carry that mess (a.k.a. excess baggage) into the new year. Sorry, but I refuse to give a situation that much power.

So what’s a person to do if they have family drama that will trickle into the holiday season? Strap on your big girl panties and take the high road because the bottom line is you give a person or situation power with how you chose to react. Even if someone is acting ratchet, don’t entertain it or get sucked up into it. Take the high road and set the example because obviously, they just don’t know how to act. If that dramatic person is going to stay in your home or vice versa, plan ahead by creating group outings where you don’t have to spend so much one-on-one time together, or take a few breathers throughout your trip by shopping solo, catching a movie or just getting out of the house. Heck, you might even want to consider staying with another family member if you know you are going to walk into the lion’s den. And please talk things out prior to the holiday if you can. Communication is key and tends to be the missing component that makes us assume we know how the other person feels. Sometimes all it takes is a sit down or phone call to hash things out.

How will you deal with your family drama this holiday season?

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