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Jennifer Hudson has been engaged for five years but she still hasn’t set a date. And she’s in no rush to walk down the aisle, she told Essence in the January 2014 issue.

Hudson has been with her fiance David Otunga since 2008 and their son David, Jr. is now 4. But with no wedding bells and projects taking Hudson away for long periods of time, there were plenty of rumors that the two had split up. Essence got things straight:

Back in 2012, when Oprah Winfrey interviewed the couple, she pried a time frame out of them–the big day would happen sometime in 2014. Based on that estimate, the sound of wedding bells should at last begetting closer, but if they are, Hudson isn’t exactly running her mouth about it. “Yes, there was a date set, and that date has come around again every year,” she says. “In fact, the date may keep rolling around.”

“We’ve never broken up,” she says. “When I’m ready to be married, I will be married. It’s that simple. Everyone should just chill. Our relationship is very strong. We’re both huge family people, and I’m only going to get married once. So I’m not rushing into anything.”

These two are the only ones who are happily coupled up with a child but holding off on getting married. Nia Long is in a similar position with boyfriend Ime Udoka. The two have been together for years and have a son but Long also says she’s not ready to get married.

So what is it that keeps people in committed relationships who have children together from marrying? For normal people, it’s a question of money (though we can’t imagine Ms. Long and Ms. Hudson are worried about being able to afford a house with their potential husbands).

Parents in the same situation, let us know why you’re waiting.

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