Abiola’s Love Class! How to Psychologically Bond Him to You Like Super-Glue

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When he talks, are you“heard-ing”? As in “Yeah, I heard what you said”? Let him talk. Turn off your “already always listening.” That’s what the Landmark coaching program terms our propensity to be more focused on what we think someone will say versus what they may be saying if we truly listen.

This goes hand in hand with asking him about himself. As he’s sharing his stories, don’t let your mind wander to the Knicks-Bulls game or the latest “Real Housewives” drama. Listen so that if he again mentions his brother you know who he’s talking about. Besides, being a great listener is just good manners.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. It’s instinctual to want to tell a new person all about you, you, you. Switch it up. Show interest by wanting to know all about him. Why would you be in a relationship with someone you weren’t fascinated by and curious about anyway?

4. It’s not fair to ask any man to complete you.

Does the saying get a life ring a bell? A woman who enjoys being herself is a force to be reckoned with. Captivate with happiness. Live a life so filled with joy and pregnant with possibilities that someone would want to join the party. Do you know that men pay for something called the G.F.E., or the Girlfriend Experience? They hire an escort to be interesting, fun and interested in them. Cut out the middle man.

When you have a life of your own, you will be less likely to commit a D.W.D., Dating While Desperate. Desperation reeks and is not good for your soul. Be light, playful, happy with your partner. This energy is contagious and completely seductive.

Who would you rather spend time with: an energy vampire sucking the life out of you or someone fun and flirty?

5. Be open, vulnerable and present for love.

A woman who is vulnerable has the courage to walk in her feminine power. There is much to be said for emotional honesty. Sharing yourself with another person and holding a safe space for them to be open with you is sacred. Always approach your partner with space for love and attraction to be present.

Love is about having a safe place to land and being that soft place for someone else. Until you can say that, you haven’t earned the right to complain in any relationship.

Your inner bully and limiting love beliefs have no place here.That was much to take it but you are the perfect woman at the perfect time to shine. I see you radiantly happy and in love!

Today’s Homework

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Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Find love class worksheets, advice videos, coaching, and more at Abiola’s Love University. Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Official Bombshell Handbook of Feminine Power.” Tweet @abiolaTV or #loveclass.

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