Did you ever stop and think about how you were chosen? Someone much younger and much smaller than you chose you to usher them into or guide them along the greatest experience a soul could ever seek. Life.
Many of you reading this post may think it strange but I am going to write it regardless. Spiritualists, philosophers and good ole’ wise grannies have shared the belief that our children choose us. Your child chose you with all your flaws, insecurities and shortcomings. It is both a blessing and an overwhelmingly scary concept to digest. A mother; biological or not, is a major responsibility. I too am a mother and sometimes I stop myself from thinking about the weight of the work my children entrust me with! If I were to allow myself to really soak in just how incredible being a mother is, I probably wouldn’t get very much “mothering” done.
Take a second to think of it this way. If you were up for a job and there were seven million other applicants, what chance do you think you’d have of landing that job? I think I’d have a better chance of finding a purple penny in the ocean. Yet, when you become a parent; by blood, bond or bank account, you beat out the seven million people on this plant to have the job of guiding that child. Wow!! That is a breathtaking reality and this is one of the countless reasons parents can become so easily overwhelmed.
Some of us have been doing this work for a few months and others for several decades. You must develop a strong constitution and some serious stamina for this work because there are no days off, no pay, no health insurance plan and no retirement. Every plan we make for ourselves as parents are contingent on our children’s ability to do what they must for themselves without having a need for us to intervene, support or rescue them from their latest caper, boo-boo or heartbreak.
Have you ever heard the term “until the day I die”? I am sure a parent created this saying. We were divinely chosen to raise the children we have created or adopted as our own. Once the work begins, it is a part of our life’s work until the day we die (and dare I say beyond that as well). I still rely on my mother for guidance, assistance with the children I am raising and for loving support. I also still rely on my deceased father through prayer and memories. Many of the lessons I learned from my father have had a direct and positive influence on the choices I have made for myself and for my children.
Parenting is the ultimate career. It is the definitive work of the soul. Remember that parenting is not just biological. If we are lucky, we have many parents in our lifetime. Oprah Winfrey is a great example of that. She is woman who never biologically mothered a child but she has more children than the infamous Ocotomom. She has done parenting work with many sons at Morehouse and many daughters at her school in South Africa, just to name a few.
Because the healthy development of children largely rely on the experiences adults provide, we must take this job seriously. Do your mothering work with integrity and loving-kindness. Know that you are perfectly designed to do exactly the best job required of you from your children in this lifetime. Try to spend more time embracing every wonderfully challenging moment and less time defacing your spirit with criticism and doubt. In this work, the boss (our children) will love you just for trying.
La Shell Wooten finds herself as overwhelmed as you on most days and when she lucky enough to find a balanced moment, she writes, counsels families raising young children and tears up a dance floor on a rare but fun Saturday night. 🙂
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