Tomiko Fraser Hines Talks “Rookie Mom No More”
I am a new mother. A new mother of twin boys to be exact. I’m what some might call a Rookie Mom. You know what I’m talking about. Those new moms that make every mistake in the book and can’t seem to figure this whole motherhood thing out.
Well, I intend to turn this whole Rookie Mom thing on it’s head with my Goddessness. You see, I am an empowered woman. Goddess is the term I use. And a Goddess knows how to turn a challenging experience into a life lesson. She strives for the “GoddessGasm” in every situation and creates a whole new way of being out of it. What is a “GoddessGasm” you ask? A “GoddessGasm” is a word I made up to describe an empowered woman’s spontaneous and uncontrollable orgasmic burst of clarity, truth and self-acceptance. Yes!
Now some new mothers might get overwhelmed by the mere thought of what it will take to be a good mother. Not me. I’m excited! I get giddy just thinking about all of the new things I will learn from my boys. I’ve learned so much already and they’re only 4 months old. I’ve learned to slow down and be present with my sons. I am finding it less and less productive to be a multitasker. And this is coming from someone who used to think if I was only doing five things at once, I wasn’t doing enough. They’ve taught me to give my full attention to each task and each moment. That’s GoddessGasm-worthy if I may say so myself. Yes!
Then there are the postpartum hormones (insert dramatic music here). Whew! I thought PMS was bad, but PMS has nothing on the swells of emotions I felt during my first few weeks as a new mother. Were I an average Rookie Mom, I would have felt guilty for expressing these emotions and for not always being the most pleasant person to my husband, family members and friends. But because I’m a new and improved Rookie Mom, I embraced my hormonal melt downs. I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. I clearly communicated with anyone who was within earshot of my mood swings that I was experiencing postpartum blues and asked if they could just ride the wave with me. The old model Rookie Mom wouldn’t have allowed herself permission to do that and she would have anticipated not being understood. But I had a GoddessGasm and I knew that my being authentic and honest would pave the way for me and others to be able to handle this thankfully temporary dark time. Yes!
Another amazing aspect of being a Rookie Mom that I hope never changes is the depths and heights of indescribable love I feel for my sons. Wow! My friends tried to tell me about this feeling, but I just couldn’t get it until I got it. And I got it good! The love I feel for my sons is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Ever. My husband and I have a great relationship and our marriage is one that our friends aspire to emulate. I have mad love for that man. The fact that we get to share our love with our sons all the while feeling this new form of parental love literally brings tears to my eyes. Instead of worrying that this love won’t last like some Rookie Moms might do, I am choosing to know that it will only get better from here. GoddessGasm!
I’ve only just begun my journey as a mother and I know I have so much to learn. Yet, I know with my empowered spin on being a Rookie Mom, I am setting myself up for what I know will be a breathtakingly amazing ride. Yes! The GoddessGasms just keep right on coming.
*A “GoddessGasm™” is an empowered woman’s spontaneous and uncontrollable orgasmic burst of clarity, truth and self-acceptance. YES!! My column encourages and demonstrates to mothers, and all women for that matter, how to incorporate “GoddessGasms™” into their daily lives.
Tomiko Fraser Hines is a model, actress, “inspirationist” and women’s empowerment activist. She created “Tomiko Fraser’s Goddess Gathering”, a women’s empowerment and support group, in 2005, as a space for women to discover, develop and demonstrate their most empowered selves – their inner Goddess. She prides herself on living a “self-defined” life. Tomiko lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Chris, and their twin sons, Kaden and Bryce.
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