Boys to Men – Is It Ok For Males To Cry?
I don’t particularly like to see my son cry, especially if it’s because he’s been hurt physically or emotionally. Although he’s a pre-teen getting ready to celebrate his 11th birthday, he’s still VERY prone to shedding a tear or too for senseless reasons. If he doesn’t get his way or if he feels the heat coming down on him because he’s managed to get himself into trouble, he’ll cry. These kinds of tears bug me to no end and I do my best to dry them up before the water works begin. I personally feel that at some point, a male child has to step over to the other side of crying. Controlling yourself and your emotions is part of maturing and becoming a man. Whiny crying definitely needs to cease and desist before the teenage years begin. As far as what I would consider to be normal crying; crying evoked by grief, pain, suffering etc., I think that’s perfectly healthy for a boy or man of across the board.
When it comes to men, I also tend to come from the school of thought that crying should be reserved for really specific situations. I’ve seen my guy cry when he’s talking about his grandfather or a relative he misses that influenced him in a positive way. Just to clarify, when I say I’ve seen him cry, I mean that I’ve seen his eyes get very wet. I have never seen him in full force crying mode with shuddering shoulders unable to control himself. To be brutally honest, I don’t ever want to see him in this light because it would mean that something really bad has happened. On the flip side, I’ve also seen my guy’s eyes get wet while watching an emotional movie together (The Notebook of course) and that truly warmed my heart. It let me know that he has feelings and that while he’s a mans man, he’s also human.
When it comes down to it, it’s ok for everyone to cry but as a boy ages, I think he should naturally cry less than he did as an adolescent.
Mommy Noire Readers – Where do you stand on boys, men, and tears?
Words by Sid Powell
Sid Powell is the NAACP-nominated screenplay writer of ‘Somebody’s Child’, a mother of two, and the owner of SIDPo Productions. Read more about how SIDPo Productions is ‘Changing Everything’ at http://www.sidpoproductions.com.