Do You Accept Your Kids As They Are Or Do You Try To Change Them?

January 29, 2014  |  

My daughter is incredibly shy, like I was at that age. I’m still very quiet in most social situations and learning how to “stand out” has been an ongoing lesson for me.

So when I see her doing some of the same things I used to do, I kind of want to “change” her. Make her more of a social butterfly, able to make friends easily. But I have to remember that it’s not in her nature. She’s quiet. She’s an observer. And that’s okay.

My son is a never-ending ball of electricity. He’s just curious about everything and everyone and it shows. He wakes up on 10 and gives 100% until his battery finally runs out at the end of the day.

Sometimes I want to sit him on the couch and tell him to chill out. Use your inside voice and close those eyes and breathe.

But I have to remember that it’s not in his nature. He’s a happy child. He’s outgoing. And that’s okay.

I have to accept my children just as they are, not how I’d like them to be. My life would not be the same if I had two kids who did things exactly how I would do things or if they acted just the way I see things playing out in my head.

like that my son is unpredictable and crazy and liable to do anything at any time. Keeps me on my toes. He keeps the spontaneity in my life and makes every day an adventure I could never predict.

like that my daughter is emotional and soft-spoken. It forces me to slow down, listen and not be so quick to anger. She teaches me patience and gives me a chance to do a lot of self-reflection that I might not otherwise get to do.

They both bring something invaluable to my life and I wouldn’t be the same woman without them. They are making me into a better person all on their own, with their little personalities and idiosyncrasies and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So forget trying to change them into what *I* think they need to make it in this world. They’ve already got what it takes.

Do you just accept your kids or do you sometimes get frustrated by your child’s personality? 

Tara Pringle Jefferson is the founder of and the author of Make It Happen: The Young Mommy Guide To Creating The Career You Crave. Follow her on Twitter or check out her blog for her insights on what it means to be a mom, wife, student, writer, and about three other labels she’s too tired to remember.

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