Daddy’s Little Girl: When Visiting Your Child Feels Like An Obligation

August 22, 2012  |  

The moment a man looks into the eyes of his daughter he realizes that his life is about to change. He is reminded of every lie and every heart he has broken – praying for a shot at redemption.

This is his chance to make up for all the pain he has caused every woman he has dated.

Ideally, she is the reason why he works hard. She is the one that keeps him focused. She’s the life line to his soul. She is more than just his daughter, she is his inspiration.

However, when the dysfunctional imbalance of her parent’s relationship kicks in (child’s mother against child’s father or vice versa) – often the daddy-daughter role gets strained. The roles get twisted. The bond gets broken.

I have found – once the chain has snapped with the biological mother, in many situations the parent who has custody (usually the mom) turns this once amazing union between father and daughter into this dreadful obligation of scheduled visits and financial transactions.

His precious gift of life now feels like an overdue bill. At least that’s how it feels when your dealing with a spiteful mother who feels you have to pay for her pain, by paying through your pocket.

Raising children in separate households is different than living under the same roof.

When separate, I find that mothers often instill their values into the child and it becomes a challenge for fathers outside of the home to counter that. Most of the time the father ends up becoming the devil. He is viewed as unworthy, unstable, and uncaring. Honestly, some men end up caring and providing more for the children in their new relationships, due to the strain from the parent of their biological child.

Question: Who is more responsible for the development of something so beautiful? The person who planted the seed or the one who watered the flower?

Words By: Tyreal Lewis

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