A Marriage Proposal with No Ring?

May 26, 2011  |  



The female wedding ring has been the topic of many conversations in my world as of late. Considering as how I’m involved in a serious relationship at the end of my 20s, the repetition of this topic shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.

Because I have organs indicating that I am indeed male, it should also come as no big surprise that my lady and I tend not to see eye to eye on the issue of the ring’s necessity. Among the myriad discussions we’ve had on the issue was the affirmation that some women (not her) would actually consider turning a man’s proposal down if he got the wrong ring…as if settling down with one person, creating a family and walking with each other until one stops breathing should be predicated upon a stone that my cat could swallow.

It’s not in my nature to put much value in physical things, particularly things that can’t shelter me or transport me to my job, which is why I can’t relate to the importance of a pricey stone just chilling on a finger. It easy to use the old “It ain’t right to exploit dead Sierra Leoneans for blood diamonds” meme to explain why I’m not excited about spending money on diamonds; while there’s merit to that argument, the real reason for me is that I can think of countless better ways to spend several weeks’ salary.

A down payment on something big with long-term value, or even something as frivolous as a gigantic television, seems more practical to me. But I understand that, especially in a zeitgeist of wedding shows driven by the unapologetic rodomontade of otherwise regular women, all things involving the starting of a life with someone else bear a pricelessness that I’m sure I’ll never relate to.

Whenever I see women fawning over an engagement ring, in real life or in the movies, I picture them all as Cro-Magnon people captivated by a piece of rock the likes of which they’d only just discovered…no words, just grunts of fascination. I’m guessing we’ve always liked our shiny items.

So while I’m not with the fascination that comes from jewelry (the CZs left my earlobes many years ago), I get why the lady is. And, of course, I’ll get her the ring. I’m sure the accompanying grunts will make up for the lost salary. Maybe.

Do you think you would be okay with a marriage proposal without a ring?

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