Should Stay-At-Home Wives Get Mad At The Idea Of An Allowance Or Bonus?

May 19, 2015  |  

Alright, let’s get into it.

An opinion piece in The New York Times is making headlines that caused a few laughs and blank stares. You have to give the author credit for trying to add a little bit of humor to a topic that has been discussed time and time again.

Stay-at-home wives have been around since practically the dawn of time. Holding down the fort while their mates bring home the bacon, many wives are also mothers who keep themselves busy with daily household demands that might drive some bonkers. They play the role of chauffeur, housemaid, personal chef and event planner among other titles. In some circles, stay-at-home women consider themselves the CEO of their homes as life wouldn’t function so seamlessly without them.

I’ve seen many stay-at-home wives and mothers in action — from all different walks of life. Whether they’re a military wife or ladies of a certain privilege as the article describes, all take great pride in their families and homes. Another area of commonality is how quickly offended some get when you start asking questions about their money.

“My children get an allowance, I don’t,” snapped one of my friends.

The sooner folks learn to mind their business the easier life will be. This of course does not stop people from wondering if stay-at-home wives receive some sort of allowance or bonus, and if so, why they get mad at the thought of it.

Call it benefits of staying at home, a year-end “bonus” or petty cash account, the truth of the matter is that most stay-at-home women rely on their spouses for financial support. There’s nothing wrong with that as certain family structures work for different people. While I understand why many in the SAHM club get frustrated about answering the same old question, does that remove the reality of it being true?

If there’s only one breadwinner or source of income, you kinda have to rely on the person making the coins for your financial needs.

Being a wife and mother who works from home, I somewhat understand how my fellow stay-at-home friends feel. In the majority of cases, these aren’t women who are trying to “mooch” off their husbands because they’re able. Most I know don’t work outside the home because it’s cheaper for them to raise their small children without shelling out a small fortune on childcare. I don’t look down on them for making that decision just as I don’t look down on working women for making the decision (sometimes it’s not) to follow their careers. Everyone’s finances are different.

Author Wednesday Martin mentions how access to your husband’s money can feel good, “but it can’t buy you the power you get by being the one who earns, hunts or gathers it.”

Should stay-at-home women get upset at the idea of a bonus if they don’t earn an income for themselves?

I honestly feel they shouldn’t get mad at the idea (it is what it is), but can understand the frustration in how people deliver their opinion. I for one don’t ask people about their personal finances. Unless I’m paying their bills, that’s on an “I don’t need to know” basis.

On the flip side, if women who stay at home are flustered with their current setup, there are things they can do to generate their own coins. There are virtual opportunities of employment and heading down the entrepreneurial route among other ideas. Work-from-home moms are on the rise which means there’s room at the table for everyone.

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