I’m Still Looking For A Love Jones: Split Personalities

May 7, 2015  |  

This series happens once a week. In order to understand what’s going on in the series, be sure to read the column, in order. 

I came to a realization.

It seemed like the most competent and trustworthy gentleman in my repertoire was Edwin. He came up with great dates, treated me with respect, and kept it all the way real.

Here’s the thing with some “gentlemen”…

The flaws come when you least expect them.

There are some flaws that are worth staying for; they’re the kind that God allows to grow and augment our beauty. There are others that are completely ridiculous, the kind that time and knowledge should’ve eroded.

With men, I always seem to confront the latter.


The culinary class was perfection. I thought Christopher’s hot air balloon ride and winery couldn’t be beaten, but I was wrong.

When a man has his arms around you,

slicing cheese,

while you giggle about the way he holds his knife,

and the instructor informs you that you’re the cutest “couple” he’s ever seen,

you’ll swoon.

Our connection was genuine. My fumbles were his smiles, his excitement was my laughter, the sync was real.

Once we’d left the venue, after trying the scrumptious meal we’d created together, we decided to walk along The High Line.

(For those of you who aren’t based in NYC: The High Line is a train track that’s been renovated into restaurants, gardens, creative events, and so much more.)

Edwin grabbed my hand.

I felt like I was 16.

I raised my brow as if to say: Boy, you better stop, before I marry you.

I think I did actually say that once, during our walk, when he said something smooth and savvy, as he always did. We leaned over the railing at one point and looked out over the city as the sun started to set.

“I love living here.”

I smiled, “Really? I feel quite the opposite. In this moment, I’m good, but anxiety runs rampant through the hustle and bustle. I yearn for peace and quiet.”

He seemed saddened by my notions. “I mistook you for a city girl. Well, I’ll be here for the rest of my life. I’ll continue to tour and see everywhere else, but I’ll always come back to New York City.”

I smiled at him. I still didn’t share his sentiment, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

His phone rang, he looked at the caller and appeared startled. He stepped away and said, “I’ve got to take this, I’ll be right back.”

I don’t like to eavesdrop, but it was hard not to hear. He seemed pretty upset.

“I told you to talk to the woman, negotiate! Why is this so difficult?”

“I’ve done all I can do! What else can I offer, at this point?”

“We tried that. No. No. I’m not going back there, not even as a last resort!”

“I’ve got to call you back. YES, I’M OUTSIDE. I’ll call you back.”

He walked back over, and I asked, “Is everything all right?”

He found his smile, from earlier on, and plastered it across his face, “I’m good. Let’s keep walking.”


Mr. Hot and Cold.

I was so ready to quit this dude.

One day, we were working on a script, and he’s asking me out. The next day, he’s ignoring my calls without the decency of a text to say he’s busy. Ugh.

He called, after a week of being M.I.A., and I picked up reluctantly.

“This is my fourth call,” he spoke rapidly, annoyed at his attempts.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m aware.”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing, for a week.”

“I’ve been busy.”


Trey sighed, “Listen, work is stressful right now. I promise things will be different, soon.”


A few days later, I was conversing with one of my colleagues on the way home.

I walked hurriedly alongside her, “I’m headed to the 4, what train are you taking?”

“Same train, but I need to head to the bank first.”

“Oh. Which one?”

“The Chase, right next to it.”

“Oh, that’s my bank too! I’ll follow you. I need to deposit something, anyway.”

“Girl! Have you met Trey?”

Oh, snap.

I feigned ignorance and said, “Is that the tall, lanky one? He’s kind of fine.”

“Kind of? Everyone knows about him, girl. They’re all checking for him. I’ll let you in on a secret though.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“He’s all mine. We’ve been talking for weeks, and I think we’re ready for the next step.”

I snickered, “What step is this?”

She looked at me suspiciously. “A relationship. Why is that funny? You don’t think we could be together?”

I lied, “Sure you could! I just didn’t know you were getting serious, with anyone.”

“I didn’t think I would be. I was keeping it quiet, in case it didn’t work out, but I think it is.”

I smiled at her. I was happy for her, but sad at the same time. Just a few days ago, Trey wanted us to be together. Puh-lease. I was dating other folks, so I didn’t mind that he was doing the same. However, he was a sleaze for making each girl feel like she was “the one” when she was one of many.

We walked into the bank together. I wanted to wait in the lobby, but she motioned for me to join her at Trey’s cubicle. Trey was dressed to the nines, as always, and he stared at his keyboard and typed relentlessly. It was after 5, and I was sure he was ready to clock out.

He looked up. For a moment he smiled, but then his smile turned to horror when he realized who stood before him.

My co-worker was so excited to introduce him. “Trey, this is Erica. She works with me. She’s a phenomenal artist and writer, and she’s bringing that to the program she runs.”

He smiled at me and squeaked out a hello…

Until next time!

Rivaflowz is an educator and freelance writer, living in New York. You can read her first dating series “In The Meantime” and her fiction, at Rivaflowz.com.

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