Do You Categorize Your Friends By How Much They Make?

May 8, 2015  |  

You did not misread the title. There are some folks who do this! Now before you come for me in the comments, please know I’m not one of them–though the idea is very interesting to say the least.

Each of us are on our own journey that comes with its own set of struggles and accomplishments. Some will earn more money than others, and some don’t care as much about what their paycheck reads so long as they’re making a difference. A high salary doesn’t equate to being a good person and vice versa.

All of my friends fall in different areas of the socioeconomic spectrum. I’m thankful to know great people who make just enough and some who are top earners. One of the great things about our friendships is how we don’t judge each other by material things. Yet there are people I know who do in many ways and feel justified with their decision.

What do you do if you want to plan a trip or event and know a good friend is unable to cover their own costs?

You might offer to pay for them or leave the option on the table to see if they can come up with the necessary funds on their own. I personally choose the latter option as constantly paying for someone is taxing on my own finances. I also don’t want to get into the habit where an expectation develops for me to constantly do so. Unfortunately I’ve been in this position where a friend or family member got a little too comfortable with my husband and I picking up their tab. It’s not fair in any way.

Whether we’re planning something big or a last-minute gathering, we always try to give the proper heads up so everyone can plan accordingly. Schedules are crazy enough to coordinate as is! It’s always good for anyone–regardless of their finances–to have a little breathing room when the time comes to shell out some coins. Heck, there were situations when we needed extra time to attend a trip with friends who make twice as much as us. They never thought or treated us as “poor folk” and we refuse to do the same to anyone else.

“I just don’t invite people who I know lack the finances to attend,” said one of my friends.

Well that’s putting it bluntly.

I understand their sentiment. There are plenty of people in this world who feel those who make more money should foot the bill, and while that’s not a good mentality to have, neither is categorizing your friends based on their paycheck.

Those who separate their friends by their income rob themselves of a good time. It’s a really superficial idea that focuses more on money than the individual. If this was normal behavior, teachers wouldn’t associate with those in the financial industry, or another field with promises of a big pay day.

Do you think you could ever do something like this? If you could, does it make you feel bad if your friend who wasn’t invited finds out? Sooner or later they’re going to put the missing pieces together and question why you’re friends in the first place.

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