Mind Your Business: How To Keep Your Family Out Of Your Relationship

May 6, 2015  |  
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You love your family. You love your spouse or partner. Sooner or later you must ask yourself why it is the two parties can’t just get along.

Hopefully, it’s an easy fix as no one wants to deal with drama from their own camp. Here are some pointers or establishing healthy boundaries between your family and your relationship.

Set expectations sooner than later

Some people like to act surprised their behavior isn’t acceptable. Establish “ground rules” or expectations early so your family and love understand the deal–and hopefully, will stay in their lane.

Exercise basic home training

At the end of the day, you don’t have to be besties with someone but should treat them like a human being. Most of us were raised with basic home training that needs to go into effect.

Stop complaining to your family

One of the reasons why relationships turn sour is because family members know too much of your business. Stop complaining to your folks and relatives about what’s going on in your love life.

Nip shade in the bud

“Oh that’s just how she acts.”

Stop giving excuses for bad behavior. If anyone tries to take a dig or hit below the belt, check them. Sitting back and allowing it to happen won’t do any good.

Create opportunities of interaction

Give everyone the chance to get to know each other a little better. Instead of keeping your family and relationship separate, try to find commonalities that will hopefully allow all parties to meet and get along.

Don’t force relationships

While it’s great to try and get everyone together, if you notice serious opposition, please don’t try to force the meeting. Time is often a factor that might need to come into play before folks let their guard down and get out of their feelings.

Try not to pick sides

Men are notorious for this type of behavior. As much as you want to try and appease everyone, do your very best to stay neutral. It’s not that you don’t care; but if grown folks want to have issues and act a fool, don’t jump into the mix–unless someone is obviously in the wrong.

Have one-on-one conversations

Sometimes interventions work and sometimes they don’t. Have you ever considered talking with those agitated on a one-on-one basis? It might seem silly, but if resolution is truly important to you, give them the floor to open up about their feelings. Who knows, you might get to the root of the issue.

Stop throwing people under the bus

If you know your mama or spouse said something foul about the other person, stop telling them. Lighting the fire does little or nothing to mend broken relationships, and the same goes for tattling.

Watch levels of disrespect

The time has come to put your foot down.

If things are counterproductive, let the person making disrespectful comments know they’re being rude and you won’t entertain childish behavior.

Cultivate individual relationships

One of the reasons why folks act out when you’re in a relationship is because they feel they’re going to lose you. Sure you might need time to make a new romance blossom, but don’t forget about your family. Spending a little extra time here and there might help ease tension.

Keep your relationship business your own

Even if you don’t run to your family every time you have problems in your relationship, that might not stop a few from trying to pry for information. Your relationship and its workings are no one’s business. Do your best to minimize all third-party commentary.

Understand the root of bitterness

When people are unhappy in their lives, it tends to spill onto others. Don’t be too surprised if a family member has nothing nice to say about your relationship because they themselves are lonely. Should this be a reality, don’t entertain their antics.

Continue moving forward

There’s only so much you can do to help mend your situation. No matter what happens, try your best to keep things moving forward. If your relationship is supposed to work out, it will. Should your family not jump on board, one can only hope with time they will.

Try not to allow drama to affect your happiness.

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