8 Times It’s Tough To Be Honest In A Relationship

April 22, 2015  |  
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Honesty is always the best policy, but there are different ways of being honest, and sometimes using your words (or at least totally straightforward ones) isn’t the best way. Here are eight times it’s hard to be completely honest in a relationship.

When he has bad odors before sex

You’re totally attracted to your partner, but nothing kills the mood like him having terrible breath or a weird body odor when you’re starting foreplay. Oh wait, one thing kills it more: telling him he smells bad.

What you should do

Time for shower sex! Just get up, seductively take your clothes off, walk towards the bathroom, hop in the shower, and hope he follows your lead.


When you just want to sleep alone

If you and your partner live together, but there are nights where you just want to sleep by yourself, it can feel like the biggest deal in the world to go sleep in the guest room. If you are married, you would think you were headed for divorce.

What you should do

You can try to be honest and tell your partner you just sleep better by yourself, and that you don’t want to become sleep-deprived and cranky and take it out on them. Or, you can just stay up later than your partner, sit in the living room watching TV, and say you fell asleep on the couch.

When your parents think he’s rude

You know your guy isn’t rude, but your parents don’t play when it comes to manners. Maybe they’ve mentioned that he has never invited them to stay at your place, or that he never calls to say hello.

What you should do

Have him follow your lead. Just say, “I’m going to invite my parents to stay with us instead of a hotel next time they’re in town. I just figure it’s nicer for them to spend time with us than drive around town meeting us out at places.” And when you talk to your parents, either encourage him to briefly say hello or tell them that he sends his love.

When you need more alone time

Your partner wants to be together all of the time. You love him—you never get sick of him—but it’s interfering with your work, your friendships, etc. Maybe you just need some time alone to clear your head because it helps you work better.

What you should do

Spin it as though alone time is good for the relationship (which it is!). Tell your partner that if you don’t get time alone to clear your head then it will be hard to be fully present when you’re hanging out with him. A little more solo time would help your relationship.

When your partner is unmotivated

Your partner is going to have times when he feels unmotivated and dejected, and stops pursuing his goals wholeheartedly. You don’t want him to feel pressured or feel like you’re less attracted to him for this, but the truth is, it’s not sexy when your man is doing a whole lot of nothing.

What you should do

Say that you need a little more motivation. Say you could use some help working on your goals, and your partner could help you by going to networking events with you and things like that. Bring your partner around motivated people without making it seem like it’s solely for his benefit.

When he is a bad drinker

You don’t want to be a buzzkill (literally) when your partner is a heavy drinker, but it’s getting out of hand. Maybe he gets mean when he’s drunk, or just does things that are irresponsible. But if you tell him to drink less, he may feel like you’re trying to be his mother.




What you should do

This is one of those times when you just have to be completely honest. If your partner is an adult, he needs to monitor his own drinking habits. He should not be okay with doing things that sabotage his life or relationships when he is drunk. Tell him to lock it up and if he resists at all, consider walking away…

When your partner is overreacting

Usually when your partner is in the middle of overreacting, that’s the worst time to tell him so because he is already emotional. But when you know you have done nothing wrong, you don’t want to deal with your partner’s illogical wrath.

What you should do

Time for some tough love! You can say, “I know I did nothing wrong and if I sit here and let you yell at me, I’m going to resent you and this fight will go on even longer than necessary. I’m going for a walk. You’ll figure it out.”

Sometimes a little white lie goes a long way in a relationship, but there are times when your partner needs to hear the truth. If you feel at all disrespected by your partner, just speak up. But if he has a flaw that isn’t displayed intentionally…be gentle.

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