Does A Woman Earning More Than Her Man Hurt Their Marriage?

April 22, 2015  |  

If things don’t change when it comes to love and finances, people are going to ask to see your W-2 before they make any commitment.

I for one am getting so tired of hearing that arguments about money are one of the top reasons why marriages and relationships aren’t working. Unless your partner is stealing from you or putting you in a really bad financial situation, who cares which one of you makes more or less? At the end of the day, everyone’s coin is money for the household, no matter who brings in more.

And why does it seem like women get questioned more on whether or not their relationship can survive if they happen to make more? Most of us are fighting to earn the same amount as a man, and now we need to worry about keeping him because our wallet is a little thicker?

Geez.

It’s no secret this society equates money to power. Unfortunately, this applies to relationships too. The person who makes the most is often looked at as the one who has the final say. With the rise of women out-earning their husbands (close to 25 percent of working married women reportedly earn more), it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of a relationship change with the times.

Can a man be confident in what he brings to the table and not be the main breadwinner?

My husband and I have a pretty traditional setup when it comes to our relationship–with modern insertions. He’s an established engineer and the main breadwinner of our home while I work for myself and freelance. Even though I don’t make as much as him, we still look for each other’s opinions when it comes to big decisions. He covers the mortgage and big bills while I take care of other financial needs. Given how flexible my money can be, I tend to be the one with more available cash, so I make the leisure time purchases. It’s also my coin that mainly funds our house fund (for now) as he pays the note on our East coast condo until it sells, and covers our home costs here in Oklahoma.

If the script were flipped and I made more, it wouldn’t stop my husband from working any harder than he does. At the end of the day, it all boils down to respect and a person’s value. So long as everyone is hustling to make a household function, there shouldn’t be any question about the value of what they bring to the table. Perhaps if people didn’t tear down each other so much (especially during an argument), there would be fewer salty feelings when it comes to the bigger or smaller paycheck.

Rather than focus on whether or not a man would be comfortable not being the main breadwinner, there are other aspects of women making more that deserve attention. For example, how would being the top earner affect the household income once children come into play? Would the possible reduction in salary still be able to cover most of your monthly needs?

Another great positive about women earning more is the ability to leave a bad situation thanks to financial independence. There are so many ladies who unfortunately stay in volatile and even dangerous relationships because they don’t have enough to provide for themselves or children without their husband.

What are your thoughts on the matter?

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