Thought It Was Going To Be All Roses? Common Realities Of Moving In Together
Did you and your flame make the decision to move in together? It seems to be a very popular option these days, allowing couples to test the waters before taking the next step.
As excited as you might be to share an address, there are certain realities you face when you live with someone.
Doesn’t equal a marriage
Yes, you and your beau are committed to each other, but that doesn’t mean you’re automatically his wife. Living together before marriage can sometimes blur a few lines as some folks think it’s the same as being married.
You see new behavior
You think you really know someone, but wait until you live with them.
It’s a completely different story.
Expect to see behavior you’ve never seen. It’s only natural for people to let their hair down in the comforts of their own home.
Gives you financial insight
Whether you decide to split bills evenly or take care of things individually, moving in together definitely gives you financial insight about your beau. You get to see what they prioritize and how they pay bills–which might explain any debts.
Exposes pet peeves
If you truly love someone, you have to accept them for who they are. Do your best to keep calm if and when you see questionable habits–like clipping toe nails in the bed or leaving the toilet seat up at night. If they really bother you, please discuss them in a respectful manner.
Who’s stuff stays?
Y’all remember that “Martin” episode where he and Gina finally moved in together? Boy, did they have a time trying to decide which plates, blenders and stereos to keep. You might want to discuss this before all the boxes get to your new residence.
Can’t run from problems
“You make me so angry! I’m just going to go in this other room and stay here for a minute!”
If and when the going gets tough, you need to figure out how to work out the kinks in your relationship. Unlike living alone, you both have to eventually come back to the same home.
Some folks aren’t ashamed when it comes to personal boundaries. If you never saw your love use the bathroom or put on a new feminine product, get ready. Yes, this isn’t a mandatory part of cohabitation, but has been known to occur.
Little to no privacy
“Who are you texting? Who sent you that email?”
These aren’t typically questions you would ask when you don’t live together as there’s a good chance you probably wouldn’t pay attention. Privacy, often times, goes out the window as someone in the relationship always wants to know who’s contacting you and why.
His friends might be over…all the time
Perhaps his guy friends didn’t get the memo that someone else is living in the home. Kudos if random or drop-in friends don’t bother you. While you don’t want to make any demands when it comes to friends, you might need to have a quick sit-down should you notice them inviting themselves over…and not leaving at a godly hour.
What’s mine is yours right?
Even if you spent a ton of time with your love, that doesn’t mean you know all of their good or bad habits. As with any roommate, you might want to establish some ground rules–like whether or not everything is split down the middle. Should someone have a tapeworm for an appetite you might want to talk about that grocery bill.
Sex can hit a plateau
Congrats to you if you’re able to get your freak on all the time. This might be a reality when you first move in with your flame, but doesn’t always stay this way. In fact, it’s pretty common for things to plateau after the newness of sharing a residence has worn off.
The inability of living together means breaking up
Let’s face it, if you can’t live together you might want to rethink the relationship. Hopefully, you didn’t jump the gun by moving in too soon as co-habitation is often a test that comes before marriage.
You’ll face new challenges
Anytime you take the next step you should prepare yourself for new challenges. Relationships are no different. When you move in together, there will be hurdles you must face that might not have surfaced in the past.
Pressure to get married
Don’t be too surprised if you start getting those “so when are you getting married” phone calls from your family. It doesn’t matter if you just moved in, folks want to know when you plan to make things official.